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Sunday Evening Funnies😂
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Jan 10, 2021 19:58:09   #
Moondoggie Loc: Southern California
 
This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:




Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?



A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.




Q.Where will the government get this money?



A. From taxpayers.




Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?



A. Only a smidgen of it.




Q. What is the purpose of this payment?



A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a ;high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.




Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?



A. Shut up.




Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. Economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:




* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.




* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to theArabs.




* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China...




* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala...



* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.



* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.



* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go ; to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.



Instead, keep the money in America by:



1) Spending it at yard sales, or



2) Going to ball games, or



3) Spending it on prostitutes, or



4) Beer or



5) Tattoos.



(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )



Conclusion:



Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day !




No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.

| Reply
Jan 10, 2021 20:43:58   #
joecichjr Loc: Illinois, USA
 
So this is the economic good sense a person gets with a Harvard education, eh Thank you for the awesome clarification

| Reply
Jan 10, 2021 22:31:16   #
Curmudgeon Loc: SE Arizona
 
Sad but true

| Reply
 
 
Jan 10, 2021 23:04:22   #
revhen Loc: By the beautiful Hudson
 
I was censured and threatened by expulsion for a mild political comment left of center. I guess right of center comments are OK.

| Reply
Jan 10, 2021 23:04:36   #
custodian Loc: New York
 
Absolutely true

| Reply
Jan 11, 2021 06:41:54   #
tcthome Loc: Keansburg , NJ
 
Moondoggie wrote:
This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:




Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?



A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.




Q.Where will the government get this money?



A. From taxpayers.




Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?



A. Only a smidgen of it.




Q. What is the purpose of this payment?



A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a ;high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.




Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?



A. Shut up.




Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. Economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:




* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.




* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to theArabs.




* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China...




* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala...



* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.



* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.



* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go ; to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.



Instead, keep the money in America by:



1) Spending it at yard sales, or



2) Going to ball games, or



3) Spending it on prostitutes, or



4) Beer or



5) Tattoos.



(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )



Conclusion:



Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day !




No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.
This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll e... (show quote)


Make sure it is domestic beer!

| Reply
Jan 11, 2021 06:49:54   #
traderjohn Loc: New York City
 
revhen wrote:
I was censured and threatened by expulsion for a mild political comment left of center. I guess right of center comments are OK.


Give it a rest. Those are facts, not some partisan political BS.

| Reply
 
 
Jan 11, 2021 07:28:17   #
jaymatt Loc: Alexandria, Indiana
 
I could say so many things, but I won’t to keep from being chastised by nearly everyone and then sent to the attic. Use your imaginations.

| Reply
Jan 11, 2021 07:56:53   #
raymondh Loc: Walker, MI
 
The truth will set us free!

| Reply
Jan 11, 2021 08:15:54   #
jerryc41 Loc: Catskill Mts of NY
 
Yes, it's hard to argue with facts.

| Reply
Jan 11, 2021 09:11:16   #
kvanhook Loc: Oriental, NC
 
revhen wrote:
I was censured and threatened by expulsion for a mild political comment left of center. I guess right of center comments are OK.


Nope, I was treated in a similar fashion and my comment vaguely referred to politics in general, it was not even "political" in nature. I felt like I was treated unfairly, but I dare not complain or I am sure I will receive even more horrible chastisement.

| Reply
 
 
Jan 11, 2021 09:11:46   #
FL Streetrodder
 
I've been waiting for this explanation, pretty well sums things up!

| Reply
Jan 11, 2021 09:33:28   #
andesbill
 
Tesla’s are built in the U.S., their management (crazy Elon) is from the U.S. most of the parts, and more over time is from the U.S., including his batteries, and the lithium in his batteries.
Also, many furniture companies are all American.
We can also buy at farm stands, eat at local restaurants (or at least take out from same- don’t forget to leave a good tip).
Help your neighbors who are in trouble at this time.
Remember the song “Get Together” by the Youngbloods? We can use some of that spirit right about now.

| Reply
Jan 11, 2021 09:41:10   #
Dannj
 
I don’t want to offend anyone but I just thought it was funny🥴

| Reply
Jan 11, 2021 10:27:18   #
bob7fred
 
Good point. Ha.

| Reply
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