BBurns Loc: South Bay, California

Mark's post reminded me of this one.
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TENDJEWBERRYMUD

Are you bored being in the house for toooo long? This may help. It's amazing, but you will understand the above word by the end of the conversation.

Read the following entire conversation out loud, phonetically.

For best results, have 2 people read it as a script. "Tendjewberrymud".

But be warned, you're may find yourself talking "funny" for a while after reading this.

The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service at a hotel somewhere in Asia.

Room Service(RS): "Morny. Ruin sorbees"
Guest(G): "Sorry, I thought I dialled room-service"
RS: "Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??"
G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs"
RS: "Ow July den?"
G: "What??"
RS: "Ow July den?...pry, boy, pooch?"
G: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."
RS: "Ow July dee bayhcem...crease?"
G: "Crisp will be fine."
RS: "Hokay. An San tos?"
G: "What?"
RS: "San tos. July San tos?"
G: "I don't think so"
RS: "No? Judo one toes??"
G: "I sorry about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes' means."
RS: "Toes! toes!, why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?"
G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.'Fine.
Yes, an English muffin will be fine."
RS: "We bother?"
G: "No, just put the bother on the side."
RS: "Wad?"
G: "I mean butter, just put it on the side."
RS: "Copy?"
G: "Sorry?"
RS: "Copy...tea...mill?"
G: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all."
RS: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem,
tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy,....rye??"
G: "Whatever you say"
RS: "Tendjewberrymud"
G: "You're welcome"

robertjerl Loc: Corona, California

Have you ever seen the one of a conversation between a Cockney and a Pennsylvania Amish person? I read that one long ago. And sadly no longer have a copy.

anotherview Loc: California

Ha, ha. Having served in Asia in the military, my ear became attuned to pidgin English.

David in Dallas Loc: Dallas, Texas, USA

I'm sure her English was better than his local language.

Ourspolair

Wassamasamijoo? No speeky in Glitch?

BBurns Loc: South Bay, California

And then there is this one.

In Hawaii, a cab is stopped at a signal. Another cab rolls up, just a little too far, and bumps the front cab.
The front driver jumps out and yells at the other driver,

“Hey, Wassamatta you?”

The second driver yells back,

“Wassamatta me?, Wassamatta you?”

The first driver responds,

“Wassamatta me?, Wassamatta you?, You Wassamatta!”

RiJoRi Loc: Sandy Ridge, NC

I'm fond of:

"Jeet jet?"
"No, jew?"

Wallen Loc: Middle Earth

Try searching for "2 forks on the table" joke.

Dannj

Interesting how quickly our minds make the translation once we can apply a context.

Lucian Loc: From Wales, living in Ohio

You need to follow that up with... Johntwo?

MrMophoto Loc: Rhode Island "The biggest little"

I teach art (mostly photography) in public high school. This year the admin decided I should take over the video production classes. As I'm crawling my way through, about two weeks ago I gave my classes the assignment to film a simple phone conversation, two people, two camera angles, simple dialog, or so I thought. Turns out teenagers have been so conditioned to write proper English that they don't understand spoken language is different than written language. Thanks, this is priceless, I'm going to post this in my classroom

bwana Loc: Bergen, Alberta, Canada

Sounds amazingly like the phone calls I've had over the past week trying to get my webmail account operational after a system change...

robertjerl Loc: Corona, California

Yes, I see it is worse now but even when I retired in 2007 I had students who could write a decent, understandable paper (history/geography/government) but when they spoke aloud it seemed that 50% of their words were "hmm, uh, you know, like..."

Perhaps at least one semester of Speech should be required to graduate. The school I attended for 10th grade the English component was one semester of Essay and one of Speech/Debate. The Speech/Debate teacher would divide us into groups, give us a subject and a day or two to gather the information then on the day of the Debate flip a coin to decide who argued which side of the subject and gave us 15 to 30 minutes to prepare that side. I learned to use language as a tool even when I was arguing the side I disagreed with.

Steven Loc: So. Milwaukee, WI.

Vietnam, Japan, Hong Kong, Bangkok, Taipei ...... being through these places during my Marine Corps days helped me read it.

Dannj

That’s funny...I thought it was Spanish😳🥴😳🥴