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A Guy Walks into a Bar.....
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Aug 9, 2020 16:08:02   #
BBurns Loc: South Bay, California
 
A guy walks into a bar with a monkey.
The monkey grabbed some olives off the bar and ate them.
Then he grabbed some sliced limes and ate them.
He then jumped onto the pool table and grabbed the cue ball.
To everyone's amazement, he stuck it in his mouth and somehow managed to swallow it whole.
The bartender looked at the guy and said,

"Did you see what your Monkey just did?"
"No, what?" replied the man.
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table...whole!"

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy.
“He eats everything in sight. Sorry and don't worry, I'll pay for the cue ball."

The guy finished his drink, paid his bill, paid for all the stuff the Monkey ate and left.

Two weeks later the guy came back, and had his monkey with him. He ordered a drink and the monkey started running around the bar.

The Monkey found a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabbed it, stuck it up his butt, pulled it out, and then ate it.
Then the monkey found a peanut, and again stuck it up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it. The bartender asked,

"Did you see what your monkey just did?"
"No, what?" replied the man.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled them out, and ate them!"

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy.

"He will eat anything, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he measures everything first."

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Aug 9, 2020 18:15:56   #
RowdyRay Loc: MN
 
Makes me laugh every time.

Reply
Aug 9, 2020 20:30:40   #
Barn Owl
 
Not one to read with a cup of hot coffee in your lap.:)

Reply
 
 
Aug 10, 2020 00:43:50   #
Scruples Loc: Brooklyn, New York
 
BBurns wrote:
A guy walks into a bar with a monkey.
The monkey grabbed some olives off the bar and ate them.
Then he grabbed some sliced limes and ate them.
He then jumped onto the pool table and grabbed the cue ball.
To everyone's amazement, he stuck it in his mouth and somehow managed to swallow it whole.
The bartender looked at the guy and said,

"Did you see what your Monkey just did?"
"No, what?" replied the man.
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table...whole!"

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy.
“He eats everything in sight. Sorry and don't worry, I'll pay for the cue ball."

The guy finished his drink, paid his bill, paid for all the stuff the Monkey ate and left.

Two weeks later the guy came back, and had his monkey with him. He ordered a drink and the monkey started running around the bar.

The Monkey found a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabbed it, stuck it up his butt, pulled it out, and then ate it.
Then the monkey found a peanut, and again stuck it up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it. The bartender asked,

"Did you see what your monkey just did?"
"No, what?" replied the man.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled them out, and ate them!"

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy.

"He will eat anything, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he measures everything first."
A guy walks into a bar with a monkey. br The monk... (show quote)



Next time the monkey decides to swallow a cue ball he should be asked if he wants some whiskey and some olive oil. Lubrication is a good thing.

Happy Shooting!

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Aug 10, 2020 03:37:45   #
Doddy Loc: Barnard Castle-England
 
Ha Ha..

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Aug 10, 2020 08:59:47   #
gsmith051 Loc: Fairfield Glade, TN
 
Good one! 😀

Reply
Aug 10, 2020 09:03:06   #
phlash46 Loc: Westchester County, New York
 

Reply
 
 
Aug 10, 2020 09:22:52   #
CWGordon
 
I enjoyed that one quite a bit.

Reply
Aug 10, 2020 10:19:47   #
suntouched Loc: Sierra Vista AZ
 
BBurns wrote:
A guy walks into a bar with a monkey.
The monkey grabbed some olives off the bar and ate them.
Then he grabbed some sliced limes and ate them.
He then jumped onto the pool table and grabbed the cue ball.
To everyone's amazement, he stuck it in his mouth and somehow managed to swallow it whole.
The bartender looked at the guy and said,

"Did you see what your Monkey just did?"
"No, what?" replied the man.
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table...whole!"

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy.
“He eats everything in sight. Sorry and don't worry, I'll pay for the cue ball."

The guy finished his drink, paid his bill, paid for all the stuff the Monkey ate and left.

Two weeks later the guy came back, and had his monkey with him. He ordered a drink and the monkey started running around the bar.

The Monkey found a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabbed it, stuck it up his butt, pulled it out, and then ate it.
Then the monkey found a peanut, and again stuck it up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it. The bartender asked,

"Did you see what your monkey just did?"
"No, what?" replied the man.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled them out, and ate them!"

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy.

"He will eat anything, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he measures everything first."
A guy walks into a bar with a monkey. br The monk... (show quote)


Now that's funny!!

Reply
Aug 10, 2020 10:28:12   #
FL Streetrodder
 
An "Oldie but Goodie", still had to laugh!

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Aug 10, 2020 11:47:36   #
Earnest Botello Loc: Hockley, Texas
 
LOL!!! Very funny, Bob.

Reply
 
 
Aug 10, 2020 12:41:29   #
PhotogHobbyist Loc: Bradford, PA
 
BBurns wrote:
A guy walks into a bar with a monkey.
The monkey grabbed some olives off the bar and ate them.
Then he grabbed some sliced limes and ate them.
He then jumped onto the pool table and grabbed the cue ball.
To everyone's amazement, he stuck it in his mouth and somehow managed to swallow it whole.
The bartender looked at the guy and said,

"Did you see what your Monkey just did?"
"No, what?" replied the man.
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table...whole!"

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy.
“He eats everything in sight. Sorry and don't worry, I'll pay for the cue ball."

The guy finished his drink, paid his bill, paid for all the stuff the Monkey ate and left.

Two weeks later the guy came back, and had his monkey with him. He ordered a drink and the monkey started running around the bar.

The Monkey found a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabbed it, stuck it up his butt, pulled it out, and then ate it.
Then the monkey found a peanut, and again stuck it up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it. The bartender asked,

"Did you see what your monkey just did?"
"No, what?" replied the man.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled them out, and ate them!"

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy.

"He will eat anything, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he measures everything first."
A guy walks into a bar with a monkey. br The monk... (show quote)


I can empathize with the monkey since needing opioid pain medication after back surgery.

Reply
Aug 10, 2020 15:57:24   #
john451 Loc: Lady's Island, SC/Columbia, SC
 
Very funny! Got a good laugh out of it.

Reply
Aug 11, 2020 17:55:31   #
Daryl New Loc: Wellington,New Zealand
 
Fair enough....

Reply
Aug 11, 2020 17:56:06   #
Daryl New Loc: Wellington,New Zealand
 
Fair enough....

Reply
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