Universal Laws
Aug 9, 2020 11:30:27 #
Universal Laws
1. Law of Mechanical Repair -
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2. Law of Gravity -
Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.
3. Law of Probability -
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.
5.Law of Variation -
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.
6. Law of the Bath -
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.
7. Law of Close Encounters-
The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
8. Law of the Result -
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!
9. Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
(actually this may be wrong)
10 . Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena-
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
11. The Coffee Law -
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
12. Murphy's Law of Lockers -
If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
13. Law of Physical Surfaces-
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
14. Law of Logical Argument-
Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.
15. Law of Physical Appearance-
If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
16. Law of Public Speaking --
A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET!
17. Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy -
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it!
18. Law of Doctors' -
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
1. Law of Mechanical Repair -
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2. Law of Gravity -
Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.
3. Law of Probability -
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.
5.Law of Variation -
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.
6. Law of the Bath -
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.
7. Law of Close Encounters-
The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
8. Law of the Result -
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!
9. Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
(actually this may be wrong)
10 . Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena-
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
11. The Coffee Law -
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
12. Murphy's Law of Lockers -
If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
13. Law of Physical Surfaces-
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
14. Law of Logical Argument-
Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.
15. Law of Physical Appearance-
If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
16. Law of Public Speaking --
A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET!
17. Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy -
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it!
18. Law of Doctors' -
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
Aug 9, 2020 11:35:01 #
Aug 9, 2020 11:38:02 #
Aug 9, 2020 11:50:47 #
Aug 9, 2020 11:51:42 #
John_F wrote:
Universal Laws br br 1. Law of Mechanical Repair ... (show quote)
There have been scientific studies on #13. At least for buttered toast and it does land butter side down more than 60% of the time.
Aug 9, 2020 12:22:56 #
So true. I've noticed every time I put on my mask ny nose will start itching.
Aug 9, 2020 13:08:05 #
JustJill wrote:
There have been scientific studies on #13. At least for buttered toast and it does land butter side down more than 60% of the time.
I wonder if the buttered side is heavier?
Aug 9, 2020 15:15:25 #
Doesn't everyone already know these?
I heard they were all written by Murphy on days when he subbed for God while God went fishing. God loves to fish.
I heard they were all written by Murphy on days when he subbed for God while God went fishing. God loves to fish.
Aug 9, 2020 15:45:33 #
Murphy’s corrolary:
You cannot use Murphy’s law to your advantage. If you count on Murphy to produce an adverse result, it will not happen.
This corrolary is recursive.
You cannot use Murphy’s law to your advantage. If you count on Murphy to produce an adverse result, it will not happen.
This corrolary is recursive.
Aug 9, 2020 19:52:32 #
Aug 9, 2020 19:54:33 #
Harry0
Loc: Gardena, Cal
rehess wrote:
I wonder if the buttered side is heavier?
Yes. That;s what they found out.
Also, half dollars are heavier on the face side.
Also almost 60% heads up.
Aug 10, 2020 05:31:39 #
Aug 10, 2020 06:35:16 #
No. 17 happens to me quite a bit!
Buy something I really like in the store regularly, then all of a sudden it is no longer being made or the store stops carrying it!
Will
Buy something I really like in the store regularly, then all of a sudden it is no longer being made or the store stops carrying it!
Will
Aug 10, 2020 06:49:52 #
Astute observation of life well documented.
Soul Dr. Yes, for me building a new computer in early June, the price dropped and the magic "out of stock" appeared along with suggestions for expensive in-stock similar items.
Soul Dr. Yes, for me building a new computer in early June, the price dropped and the magic "out of stock" appeared along with suggestions for expensive in-stock similar items.
Aug 10, 2020 07:11:27 #
If a machine is taken apart enough times you will eventually have sufficient parts left over to build another machine.
If you want to reply, then register here. Registration is free and your account is created instantly, so you can post right away.