My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'
'No,' she answered.
I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes.'
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started.
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I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."
And that's when the fight started.
i went to the Social Security office to put in for benefits, but they wouldn't believe that i was over sixty five, so i pulled up my shirt and showed them all the grey hair.
She said, you should have pulled down your pants and gotten disability.
Then the fight started.
You are too much Jerry! Never a dull moment.
Nolan
I was out eating dinner with my girlfriend when I asked to tell my something that would make quiver all over,
she said......
your wife is standing behind you.
Paddy and Murphy went to a bar,they ordered a drink and sat at a table,they got their lunch box’s out,and noticed a sign which read,You are not allowed to consume your own food on these premises,so they swapped lunch boxes.😹
Humor says a lot, well lubricated, in a few words.
Good morning jerryc,
Both are excellent !!
Thanks,
Terry
three words you DON'T want to hear before or during sex:
"honey, I'm home"
Funny stuff for a Saturday, thanks.
GeneV
Loc: Lampasas, Texas
allan catt wrote:
Paddy and Murphy went to a bar,they ordered a drink and sat at a table,they got their lunch box’s out,and noticed a sign which read,You are not allowed to consume your own food on these premises,so they swapped lunch boxes.😹
Love it!! Irish jokes always make me laugh. Great grandfather and grandfather Dugan passed on their sense of humor. I thank them every day.
GeneV
Jerry, you always come up with the best ones, LMAoff.
Little Johnny was late for school. So when he finally got in his seat, the teacher asked him, Little Johnny why were you so late today. Little , sorry Ms. Wilson I had to take our bull to our neighbors farm so he could breed him with his cows. Ms. Wilson said, couldn't your father do that? Little Johnny said No Ms. Wilson, I'm pretty sure it has to be a bull!!
BBurns
Loc: South Bay, California
MSW wrote:
three words you DON'T want to hear before or during sex: "honey, I'm home"
What's the definition of Relative Humidity?
It's the sweat that pools in the small of your back.
It occurs when you hear your wife come through the front door while you're banging her sister.
GOOD JOB JERRY.. keep it up
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