lowkick Loc: Connecticut

Russ and Sam, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the
>> pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.
>>
>> One day Russ didn't show up. Sam didn't think much about it and
>> figured maybe he had a cold or something. But after Russ hadn't shown
>> up for a week or so, Sam really got worried. However, since the only
>> time they ever got together was at the park, Sam didn't know where
>> Russ lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.
>>
>> A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Russ, but
>> one day, Sam approached the park and -- lo and behold -- there sat Russ!
>>
>> Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so. Then he
>> said ,'For crying out loud Russ, what in the world happened to you?'
>>
>> Russ replied, 'I have been in jail.’
>>
>> 'Jail!' cried Sam. What in the world for?'
>>
>> 'Well,' Russ said, 'you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at
>> the coffee shop where I sometimes go?'
>>
>> 'Yeah,' said Sam, 'I remember her. What about her?'
>>
>> 'Well, one day she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89 years
>> old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pled 'guilty'.
>>
>> 'The damn judge gave me 30 days for perjury’.

NMGal Loc: NE NM

Sounds like a man.

rehess Loc: South Bend, Indiana, USA

Presumably this was a twice forwarded email.

It would be a lot easier to read if the ">>" marks had been edited out,
and the extra lines had been joined, but I guess that would have been too much work.

Mr. SONY Loc: LI, NY

Like this?

Russ and Sam, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons,
watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.

One day Russ didn't show up.
Sam didn't think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something.
But after Russ hadn't shown up for a week or so, Sam really got worried.
However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park,
Sam didn't know where Russ lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.

A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Russ, but one day,
Sam approached the park and -- lo and behold -- there sat Russ!

Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so.
Then he said, 'For crying out loud Russ, what in the world happened to you?'

Russ replied, 'I have been in jail.’

'Jail!' cried Sam. What in the world for?'

'Well,' Russ said, 'you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where I sometimes go?'

'Yeah,' said Sam, 'I remember her. What about her?'

'Well, one day she filed rape charges against me;
and, at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pled 'guilty'.

'The damn judge gave me 30 days for perjury’.

rehess Loc: South Bend, Indiana, USA

Thank you - that is much easier for my eyes to read.

SonyBug

And now I have read it twice.

jhkfly

Here's a grammatically more apt rewrite:

Russ and Sam, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems. One day Russ didn't show up. Sam didn't think much about it, figuring maybe he had a cold or something. But after Russ hadn't shown up for a week or so, Sam really got worried, and wanted to check on him. However, since the only times they had ever met was at the park, Sam didn't know where Russ lived, so he couldn't find out what had happened to him.

After a month had passed, Sam figured he had seen the last of Russ, but then one day, Sam visited the park and -- lo and behold -- waiting at their accustomed meeting spot, there sat Russ!

Sam was very excited and happy to see him, and he told him so. Then he demanded, "For crying out loud Russ, what in the world happened to you?"

Russ replied, 'I have been in jail.’

"Jail!" cried Sam. "What in the world for?"

"Well," said Russ, "You remember Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where I sometimes go?'

"Yeah," said Sam. "I remember her. What about her?'

"Well, one day she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pled 'guilty.' The damn judge gave me 30 days for perjury!"

ottopj Loc: Annapolis, MD USA

Terrible.

jhkfly

Say it ain't so!

Blair Shaw Jr Loc: Dunnellon,Florida

HAHAHAHAAHAAHAA

Dannj

Wait a second!
Never mind the > > !
How did Sam know about the waitress?
Russ never mentioned a coffee shop either. And if Sam knew about the coffee shop and the waitress why didn’t he go look for Russ at the coffee shop if he was so concerned for his welfare?
I’m sorry but this story doesn’t hold water.

hassighedgehog Loc: Corona, CA

You are expecting logic from a joke? Waste of time, but then again we all have LOTS of time with the pandemic.

Dannj

Lol! I just thought with the comments on the > > and the grammatical version I’d add another senseless comment🤪

Gilkar

>>Some

>>people

>>got

>>nuttin'

>>ta

>>do

>>but

>>complain.

jhkfly

Bloviation par excellence!