A Little Levity - Jewish & Italian Mothers
Apr 21, 2020 14:18:27 #
JEWISH MOTHER
The year is 2024 and the United States has elected the first woman as well as the first Jewish president, Susan Goldstein.
She calls up her mother a few weeks after Election Day and says, "So, Mom, I assume you'll be coming to my inauguration?"
"I don't think so. It's a ten-hour drive, your father isn't as young as he used to be, and my arthritis is acting up again."
"Don't worry about it, Mom, I'll send Air Force One to pick you up and take you home. And a limousine will pick you up at your door."
"I don't know. Everybody will be so fancy-schmantzy; what on earth would I wear?
Susan replies, "I'll make sure you have a wonderful gown, custom-made by the best designer in New York."
"Honey," Mom complains, "you know I can't eat those rich foods you and your friends like to eat."
The President-to-be responds, "Don't worry Mom. The entire affair is going to be handled by the best caterer in New York; kosher all the way. Mom, I really want you to come."
So Mom reluctantly agrees and on January 20, 2025, Susan Goldstein is being sworn in as President of the United States. In the front row sits the new President's mother, who leans over to a Senator sitting next to her and says, "You see that woman over there with her hand on the Torah, becoming President of the United States?"
The Senator whispers back, "Yes, I do."
Mom says proudly, "Her brother is a doctor.
ITALIAN MOTHER
Giuseppe excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is going to get married.
He says, "Just for fun, Mama, I'm going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry." The mother agrees.
The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house, sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while
He then says, "Okay, Mama, guess which one am I going to marry?"
Mama says immediately, "The one on the right."
"That's amazing, Mama. You're right. How did you know?"
Mama replies: "I don't like her."
Laugh a little and stay safe.
Mark
The year is 2024 and the United States has elected the first woman as well as the first Jewish president, Susan Goldstein.
She calls up her mother a few weeks after Election Day and says, "So, Mom, I assume you'll be coming to my inauguration?"
"I don't think so. It's a ten-hour drive, your father isn't as young as he used to be, and my arthritis is acting up again."
"Don't worry about it, Mom, I'll send Air Force One to pick you up and take you home. And a limousine will pick you up at your door."
"I don't know. Everybody will be so fancy-schmantzy; what on earth would I wear?
Susan replies, "I'll make sure you have a wonderful gown, custom-made by the best designer in New York."
"Honey," Mom complains, "you know I can't eat those rich foods you and your friends like to eat."
The President-to-be responds, "Don't worry Mom. The entire affair is going to be handled by the best caterer in New York; kosher all the way. Mom, I really want you to come."
So Mom reluctantly agrees and on January 20, 2025, Susan Goldstein is being sworn in as President of the United States. In the front row sits the new President's mother, who leans over to a Senator sitting next to her and says, "You see that woman over there with her hand on the Torah, becoming President of the United States?"
The Senator whispers back, "Yes, I do."
Mom says proudly, "Her brother is a doctor.
ITALIAN MOTHER
Giuseppe excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is going to get married.
He says, "Just for fun, Mama, I'm going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry." The mother agrees.
The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house, sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while
He then says, "Okay, Mama, guess which one am I going to marry?"
Mama says immediately, "The one on the right."
"That's amazing, Mama. You're right. How did you know?"
Mama replies: "I don't like her."
Laugh a little and stay safe.
Mark
Apr 21, 2020 14:34:08 #
Apr 21, 2020 14:41:06 #
markngolf wrote:
JEWISH MOTHER br br The year is 2024 and the Unit... (show quote)
It made me laugh a little. Stay well and safe Mark
Apr 21, 2020 14:46:22 #
PixelStan77 wrote:
It made me laugh a little. Stay well and safe Mark
Thanks, Stan!
Mark
Apr 21, 2020 14:47:04 #
Apr 21, 2020 15:40:47 #
Apr 21, 2020 16:14:41 #
Apr 21, 2020 16:29:29 #
Apr 21, 2020 16:30:50 #
Apr 21, 2020 17:46:16 #
Apr 21, 2020 18:06:44 #
Apr 21, 2020 19:23:43 #
markngolf wrote:
Mark
Mark
so how many Jewish mamas dose it take to change a light bulb?"None....."I really like sitting here in the dark".
Apr 21, 2020 19:52:07 #
Apr 21, 2020 20:08:59 #
markngolf wrote:
I like that one. 😃
I like that one. 😃
no offence meant to any of those ladies!
Apr 21, 2020 21:23:49 #
If you want to reply, then register here. Registration is free and your account is created instantly, so you can post right away.