RonKoris Loc: St. Helena Island, SC

Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.
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I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe.
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· I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.
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· Still haven't decided where to go for Easter ----- The Living Room or The Bedroom
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· Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.
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· Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.
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· I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we'd go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone
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· This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog..... we laughed a lot.
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· So, after this quarantine.....will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them?
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· Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.
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· My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.
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· Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.
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· I'm so excited --- it's time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?
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· I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I'm getting tired of Los Livingroom os .
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· Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.
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· Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said "I hope I don't have the same teacher next year".... I'm offended.
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· Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under

JimmyTB

My favorite was my pee cleaning the toilet

Amtrain

Mine too

sueyeisert Loc: New Jersey

I laughed so hard I fogged my glasses. Thank you for sharing.

GARGLEBLASTER Loc: Spain

Thanks for the laugh

Tommy II Loc: Northern Illinois

I liked them.

jaymatt Loc: Alexandria, Indiana

ltatko

Funny and loaded with philosophy!!!

Len

MrMophoto Loc: Rhode Island "The biggest little"

After reading these I quickly announced to my wife we didn't have to clean the toilet anymore, she checked my temperature.

treadwl Loc: South Florida

Thanks so much. That is the hardest I have laughed in a month.

Fotoartist Loc: Detroit, Michigan

These are all good for a well needed laugh. Thanks.

Vince68 Loc: Wappingers Falls, NY

Really good ones... thanks for the laughs.

drobvit Loc: Southern NV

👏👏👏 Great bunch! The first and the last make great bookends.

custodian Loc: New York

Thanks for sharing i laughed so yard i cried

custodian Loc: New York

Thanks for sharing i laughed so hard i cried