tramsey Loc: Texas

About this time of the year for the past several years when most people are snowed in I post this. I picked it up on facebook a couple of years ago. I think it's a hoot.

December 8 - 6:00 PM
It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I
took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge
soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses
Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
December 9
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every
inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more
lovely place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've
ever had! Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy
again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the
snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the
driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!

December 12
The sun has melted all our lovely snow.. Such a disappointment! My
neighbor tells me not to worry- we'll definitely have a white
Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have
so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow
again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm
glad he's our neighbor.

December 14
Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night. The temperature dropped to
-20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath
away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This
is the life! The snowplough came back this afternoon and buried
everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much
shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I
wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15
20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow
tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer.
The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think
that's silly. We aren't in Alaska , after all.

December 16
Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway
putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour,
which I think was very cruel.

December 17
Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere.
Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to
stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to
irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit
it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm
freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20
Electricity's back on, but had another 14 inches of the damn stuff
last night. More shoveling! Took all day. The dam snowplough came
by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said
they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the
only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and
they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're
lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and
bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the
white crap fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt till
August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel
and then I had to pee. By the time I got undressed, peed and dressed
again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plough
on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I
think the he’s lying.

December 23
Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted
me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she,
nuts?!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she
did but I think she's lying.

December 24
6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplough, I broke the shovel.
Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a
bitch who drives that snow plough, I'll drag him through the snow andbeat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he
hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then
he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all
over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing
Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy
watching for the damn snowplough.

December 25
Merry fricking Christmas! 20 more inches of the damn slop tonight -
Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God, I hate
the snow! Then the snowplough driver came by asking for a donation
and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a
bad attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot. If I have to watch
"It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the
microwave.

December 26
Still snowed in. Why the heck did I ever move here? It was all HER
idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14
hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace the
pipes.

December 28
Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. My WIFE is driving me crazy!!!

December 29
10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave
in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I
am?

December 30
Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plough driver, and now he is suing
me for a million dollars. The wife went home to her mother. Nine more inches predicted

December 31
I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

January 8
Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving
me. Why am I tied to the bed?

tommystrat Loc: Bigfork, Montana

Well, here in northwestern Montana we have had a record mild winter - but your post is certainly true about LAST winter!

PhotogHobbyist Loc: Bradford, PA

I think I've read that before but it still gave me a good laugh, all the way through. I've had similar thoughts about snow plow drivers but fortunately I have a snow blower and great neighbors who sometimes use their snow blower on our sidewalks when I haven't been out early enough to get theirs done. Loved yopur post.

tramsey Loc: Texas

I've posted it several times and get a kick out of every time I read it. Reminds me why I left North Dakota and came to Deep South Texas in the first place.

Thanks for the come back

jerryc41 Loc: Catskill Mts of NY

Yes, that's a classic. Thanks for posting it.

I think I've used the snow blower three times this year - 4" max. The temp has been near 60° the past couple of days.

Nalu Loc: Southern Arizona

Every time I read this story I think about when I lived in the mountains, and yelled at the guy who ran the snow plow. And I remember why I don't live in the mountains any longer. Thanks for the reminder.

jerryc41 Loc: Catskill Mts of NY

Yeah, I've given up in the front 10' of my lawn.

vpeek1947 Loc: Louisville, Ky

Have not laughed that hard in awhile.
Whats funny several years that could be me.

EdJ0307 Loc: out west someplace

After living in this area for the last 15 years and having to shovel snow every winter I finally broke down this year and purchased a snow thrower to make life a little easier. When I bought it there was snow on the ground so I used it for a little less than an hour to clear the snow then parked the snow machine in the garage. Since the purchase we have had a mild winter and haven't seen a flake of snow for two months. That is until last Sunday when we got some snow but not enough to fire up the snow thrower. The weather being so mild and spring-like the snow was gone the next day.
When I bought the snow machine I figured it will:
a)help when it snowed or
b)by just having it will prevent any snow from falling.
So far it has been b).

rps Loc: Muskoka Ontario Canada

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Judging from the spelling of "plough" I suspect the writer is Canadian. I like winter and we live in the Georgian Bay snowbelt. But this year it's getting to me. We've had the usual heavy snow. There are three feet of it on my deck and a one foot mound of ice at the garage door. But the miserable thing this winter is the complete lack of sunshine...grey day after grey day. If the sun does shine, it's for ten minutes then the gloomy clouds move back.

home brewer Loc: Fort Wayne, Indiana

It was a terrible winter in NE Indiana this season:
I never used the snow blower
Only used the shovel a few times
Snow was never deep enough or cold enough to cross country ski
Pond never froze deep enough to skate
and few sunny days

St.Mary's

FYI everyone. There are locations in the US of A, that receive little or no snow during the winter months. Of course during the summer months in these locations you are exposed to what hell must be like.

Harvey Loc: Pioneer, CA

LOL -This is an old but goody story - On the first feb of around '68 I moved to a larger house near So. Lake Tahoe, CA there was about a foot of "old" snow in the driveway but no problem for me as I had a 6 ft blade on the front of my 4X4 Chev Suburban - well it started to snow that day and snowed every day for 45 days - yep had to shovel 10 ft on my roof.

jhkfly

I'm so glad we moved to middle Arizona. This year, even at 3,500 ft above sea level, it snowed one day in January for ten minutes. Several nights reached -1 degree Celsius/30 degrees Fahrenheit. Three years ago we had a "heavy" sowfall...six inches which lasted for six days. Today at noon it is 70 degrees F / 21 C in the shade; blue skies in every direction and the sunshine is hot!

I remember with no fondness for the weather my coming of age in Montreal, working years in Nova Scotia, New Brunswick northern Quebec, Saskatchewan and Alberta...winter from late October to mid April, tons of snow to shovel, ice storms, days without power, roads undriveable, cars unstartable, busses unavailable, icy sidewalks unwalkable, sun invisible, cars rusting pre-maturely from necessary road salt, and the joy of being splashed with brown slush by passing cars... With apologies to Gordon Lightfoot..."it's good to be Arizona bound!"

32wade23

I too enjoyed the story....

I live in Green Bay and the snow storms are usually small, since the weather patterns are affected by the the
Bay of Green Bay.....except for two winters ago.......we got a a bunch of snow...don't member how much, but I do remember the 5 foot high snow drift across the front of the garage..all 40 feet across the front. AND the 4 foot high drift at the street left by the snowplow.( That was 20 feet across) It took me 3 days to get it all
cleared, with the help of my neighbor....he would knock the drifts down with a grain shovel so I could blow it away with my snow blower.

Then I had to clear the drift across the back of the house to free up the back door of the house in case we needed a second exit. Normally I run the snow blower out the back door of the garage, but that drift was taller
than the service door was high. Plan 'B' was to blow a path around the garage, which is 35 feet deep.

It's a good thing we're retired. In spite of Mother Nature, I like living here because all my 'toys' are here

Eventually I got it all done....I am currently shopping for a skid steer with an enclosed cab and heat. Maybe I can hire out.....