John_F Loc: Minneapolis, MN

WE ARE PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE LUTHERAN AIRLINES IS NOW OPERATING IN MINNYSOTA!
ALSO SERVING VISCONSIN, NORDERN MITCHIGEN, NORT & SOUT DAKOTA

If you are travelin soon, consider Lutran Air, the no-frills airline. You're all in da same boat on Lutran Air, here flyin is a upliftin experience:

- Dair is no first class on any Lutran Air flight.

- Meals are potluck. Rows 1 tru 6, bring rolls; 7 tru 15, bring a salad; 16 tru 21, a hot dish, and 22-30, a dessert.

- Basses and tenors please sit in da rear of da aircraft.

- Everyone is responsible for his or her own baggage.

- All fares are by free will offering, and da plane will not land til da budget is met.

- Pay attention to your flight attendant, who vill acquaint you wit da safety system aboard dis Lutran Air.

Okay den, listen up; I'm only gonna say dis vonce: In da event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, I am frankly gonna be real surprised and so vill Captain Olson, because ve fly right around two tousand feet, so loss of cabin pressure would probably mean da Second Coming or someting of dat nature, and I wouldn't bodder with doze liddle masks on da rubber tu bes--you're gonna have bigger tings to worry about den dat. Just stuff doze back up in dair liddle holes.

Probably da masks fell out because of turbulence which, to be honest wit you, we're gonna have quite a bit of at two tousand feet, sorta like driving across a plowed field, but after a while you get used to it. In da event of a water landing, I'd say forget it.

Start saying da Lord's Prayer and just hope you get to da part about forgive us our sins as we forgive dose who sin against us, which some people say 'trespass against us,' which isn't right, but what can you do?

Da use of cell phones on da plane is strictly forbidden, not because day may confuse da plane's navigation system, which is by da pants all da way. No, it's because cell phones are a pain in da wazoo, and if God had meant you to use a cell phone, He wudda put your mout on da side of your head.

We start lunch right about noon and it's buffet style wit da coffeepot up front. Den we'll have da hymn sing; hymnals are in da seat pockets in front of you. Don't take yours wit you when you go or I am gonna be real upset and I am NOT kiddin!

Right now I'll say Grace: Come, Lord Jesus, be our guest and let deze gifts to us be blessed. Fader, Son, and Holy Ghost, May we land in Dulut or pretty close

robertjerl Loc: Corona, California

OK, Where did the flight originate Lake Woebegone?

DavidPhares Loc: Chandler, Arizona

That is funny, especially da part about meals being pot luck! I almost had rootbeer coming outa my nose, I did! 😄

rmorrison1116 Loc: Near Valley Forge, Pennsylvania

Kinda ingnorant and insultin, don't cha tink...!?

RLSeipleSr Loc: North of Boston

No, I'm a life-long Luthern and I find it funny ...

Bob S

BjB1953 Loc: Rice Lake, WI

I believe that was a Tim Conway bit.

Nancysc

I can hear Tim Conway's voice!

Plieku69 Loc: The Gopher State, south end

Strictly Minnesota humor. Southerners might not get it.
Funny and entertaining.

Nancysc

I'm way down here in Savannah (Georgia) and we have tourists from everywhere. I have to try really hard to understand them (esp from up North) but usually I can figure 'em out. It helps that I can read and write standard English.

Blair Shaw Jr Loc: Dunnellon,Florida

WOOOOOOOW.....you got me laughing so hard ..........nearly had a stroke...so funny.
Thnaks for a really good surprise reading.

InFocusFl Loc: Kennedy Space Center, FL

I’m a Lutheran and a Minnesotan, born and raised. Not the least bit insulted or offended. Love a good potluck, too! LOL!

raymondh Loc: Walker, MI

One of their coal fired planes I gather.

fetzler Loc: North West PA

I lived in Minnesota and WisCONsin for a few years and I am partially of Swedish decent. I almost wet my pants reading this. This a Fargo bring back many memories. Don't ya know.

Rich Maher Loc: Sonoma County, CA

Thanks for the laugh.

Bonnie Halsell Loc: Ocala, Florida USA

I am a life long practicing Lutheran I found this hilarious. Now I will pass wind in the pew....Is this airline Missouri Synod? If yep, ya betcha, I would fly and bring the green mystery jello salad.