WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it a “once-in-a-lifetime incredible deal,” Donald Trump on Friday offered recently-escaped ISIS fighters a group rate at the Trump National Doral Miami.
“I am giving ISIS a group rate that entitles them to the full run of the golf course, the spa, you name it,” he said. “This is going to make the ISIS people very, very happy.”
The fighters can qualify for the group rate by presenting proof of ISIS membership and their recently freed status, Trump said.
Trump declined to say whether he would extend the same group rate to Kurdish fighters in Syria. “I’m not a fan of the Kurds,” he said. “Where were the Kurds in 1776 when George Washington took control of the British airports?”
Shortly after Trump made the offer to ISIS, however, the group’s leader, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, issued a lukewarm response.
“We’ve read some not-so-great things about the Doral on TripAdvisor,” Baghdadi said. “If we wanted to go to a golf resort, we’d pick one that doesn’t have bedbugs.”
https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-offers-freed-isis-fighters-a-group-rate-at-trump-doral-resort?source=EDT_NYR_EDIT_NEWSLETTER_0_imagenewsletter_Borowitz_ZZ&utm_campaign=aud-dev&utm_source=nl&utm_brand=tny&utm_mailing=TNY_Borowitz_101819&utm_medium=email&bxid=5c0595cdbf0081545e326f33&cndid=55575532&esrc=bounceX&mbid=&utm_term=TNY_Borowitz
thom w wrote:
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it a “once-in-a-lifetime incredible deal,” Donald Trump on Friday offered recently-escaped ISIS fighters a group rate at the Trump National Doral Miami.
“I am giving ISIS a group rate that entitles them to the full run of the golf course, the spa, you name it,” he said. “This is going to make the ISIS people very, very happy.”
The fighters can qualify for the group rate by presenting proof of ISIS membership and their recently freed status, Trump said.
Trump declined to say whether he would extend the same group rate to Kurdish fighters in Syria. “I’m not a fan of the Kurds,” he said. “Where were the Kurds in 1776 when George Washington took control of the British airports?”
Shortly after Trump made the offer to ISIS, however, the group’s leader, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, issued a lukewarm response.
“We’ve read some not-so-great things about the Doral on TripAdvisor,” Baghdadi said. “If we wanted to go to a golf resort, we’d pick one that doesn’t have bedbugs.”
https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-offers-freed-isis-fighters-a-group-rate-at-trump-doral-resort?source=EDT_NYR_EDIT_NEWSLETTER_0_imagenewsletter_Borowitz_ZZ&utm_campaign=aud-dev&utm_source=nl&utm_brand=tny&utm_mailing=TNY_Borowitz_101819&utm_medium=email&bxid=5c0595cdbf0081545e326f33&cndid=55575532&esrc=bounceX&mbid=&utm_term=TNY_BorowitzWASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it a “onc... (
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Obummer actually brought over thousands of Somali terrorists and gave them homes and welfare.
Architect1776 wrote:
Obummer actually brought over thousands of Somali terrorists and gave them homes and welfare.
And, you know they were terrorists because? Were they women? That would explain how you feel about them. The fact that you like Elain makes it unlikely that she is.
thom w wrote:
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it a “once-in-a-lifetime incredible deal,” Donald Trump on Friday offered recently-escaped ISIS fighters a group rate at the Trump National Doral Miami.
“I am giving ISIS a group rate that entitles them to the full run of the golf course, the spa, you name it,” he said. “This is going to make the ISIS people very, very happy.”
The fighters can qualify for the group rate by presenting proof of ISIS membership and their recently freed status, Trump said.
Trump declined to say whether he would extend the same group rate to Kurdish fighters in Syria. “I’m not a fan of the Kurds,” he said. “Where were the Kurds in 1776 when George Washington took control of the British airports?”
Shortly after Trump made the offer to ISIS, however, the group’s leader, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, issued a lukewarm response.
“We’ve read some not-so-great things about the Doral on TripAdvisor,” Baghdadi said. “If we wanted to go to a golf resort, we’d pick one that doesn’t have bedbugs.”
https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-offers-freed-isis-fighters-a-group-rate-at-trump-doral-resort?source=EDT_NYR_EDIT_NEWSLETTER_0_imagenewsletter_Borowitz_ZZ&utm_campaign=aud-dev&utm_source=nl&utm_brand=tny&utm_mailing=TNY_Borowitz_101819&utm_medium=email&bxid=5c0595cdbf0081545e326f33&cndid=55575532&esrc=bounceX&mbid=&utm_term=TNY_BorowitzWASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it a “onc... (
show quote)
So did Trump make a reservation for you yet?
EyeSawYou wrote:
So did Trump make a reservation for you yet?
I have never kicked a kid who rides the short bus, and I'm not going to start now.
phcaan
Loc: Willow Springs, MO
thom w wrote:
I have never kicked a kid who rides the short bus, and I'm not going to start now.
That is because you were the kid on the short bus.
phcaan wrote:
That is because you were the kid on the short bus.
Actually I wasn't, but when we went camping, we did have a pee can.
thom w wrote:
I have never kicked a kid who rides the short bus, and I'm not going to start now.
So is that an admission that you rode the short bus? OK
EyeSawYou wrote:
You spelled pecan wrong.
Maybe, he is kind of a nut, but that isn't what I was spelling.
“Where were the Kurds in 1776 when George Washington took control of the British airports?”
Yes, I recall that comment made by Trump... Thereafter I felt differently about the Kurds... such wisdom our Stable Genius President has... I was enlightened.
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