The theory of Beer
Aug 31, 2012 21:56:42 #
One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the" Buffalo Theory"to his buddy Norm:
"Well, ya see, Norm, it's like this.. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members! ; In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
"Well, ya see, Norm, it's like this.. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members! ; In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
Aug 31, 2012 21:59:24 #
Aug 31, 2012 22:12:46 #
definitely makes more sense than all the political and religious discussions going on around here
Aug 31, 2012 22:19:18 #
I'm hoisting one now as I read this so I should be a real smart ass in no time. 8-)
Aug 31, 2012 22:20:10 #
Aug 31, 2012 22:31:43 #
Sep 1, 2012 00:38:49 #
Sep 1, 2012 07:45:05 #
Before I had my last one I couldn't even spell genius and now I are one!
Sep 1, 2012 07:48:35 #
flyingcrown1 wrote:
Before I had my last one I couldn't even spell genius and now I are one!
Yes you is! And I are too!
Sep 1, 2012 08:43:05 #
Sep 1, 2012 10:32:37 #
How does that song go..
In heaven there is no beer
that's why we drink it here...
In heaven there is no beer
that's why we drink it here...
Sep 1, 2012 13:26:47 #
Sep 1, 2012 14:58:53 #
Sep 1, 2012 16:06:44 #
Sep 1, 2012 18:00:24 #
I dont drink at all I guess thats why im not too bright. But I rember when I was back in school and the teacher was explaining the evils of drinking beer. She dropped a worm in a glass of water and it swam around. Then she dropped it in a glass of beer and it died. Ask the class what they had learned? Little Billy in the back said if you drink beer youll never have worms.
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