Cottage Etiquette
Aug 5, 2019 18:07:25 #
What ever happened to that? You don't have to invite friends and distant family back when they misbehave but what do you do with close relatives that totally act like morons, don't help with anything, let their kids run wild. We both believe we set a good example as our kids grew up but nothing seems to have taken. The whole weekend was tense and we had to walk on eggshells the whole week end. Any suggestions?
Aug 5, 2019 18:08:34 #
Aug 5, 2019 18:10:54 #
azdustdevil wrote:
Disown them
I already thought of giving everything to RSPCA.
Aug 5, 2019 18:11:32 #
Aug 5, 2019 18:35:43 #
Timmers
Loc: San Antonio Texas.
alx wrote:
YUP! 
Put them into a hotel for a day and drop them off, from there they can go home or pay for the rest. When they want to return ask if the hotel was good and did they need to have you make their reservations this next time.
Also, pay with cash for the first night and tell the desk that YOU will not honor any credits to your credit card, be sure to tell them about this.
Aug 5, 2019 18:45:33 #
Sometimes you have to be the one to tell the truth even if it hurts. They will probably be shocked to find out the truth, not even realizing what you can plainly see.
Aug 5, 2019 18:49:36 #
kpmac wrote:
Sometimes you have to be the one to tell the truth even if it hurts. They will probably be shocked to find out the truth, not even realizing what you can plainly see.
Tried that the last time they were here, did not go over well and nothing has changed.
Aug 5, 2019 19:11:16 #
Aug 5, 2019 19:35:21 #
Kraken wrote:
Tried that the last time they were here, did not go over well and nothing has changed.
There are times when Tough Love is called for. I love our nephews to bits but when they come to visit I lay down a set of rules. If they decide not to follow them then they suffer the consequences.
As an example: One time with the three teen boys I had come home from work and all their shoes were scattered about in front of the door. I told them that was unacceptable and it better not happen again. Next day I came home and it was the same thing. Each kid had 3 pairs of shoes in front of the doorway and I tripped over them. Said not a word, just started picking up shoes and throwing them in the garbage can. You never saw these kids move so fast once they saw what was happening. I never ever tripped on another shoe. Example#2: Its about a 1 mile walk to the Beach from our place in Huntington. The wife had planned a day at the beach with food, drinks and boogie boards. The boys had been told the night before what time we were driving over and where we were going to end up, but the next morning they decided to go for a run. No one around to help get packed up and ready. So I said F' it, they can go haul this crap by themselves. When they finally returned I told them I cancelled my participation in the day due to lack of interest. They had to hoof it down and back to the beach the rest of the week. They never let it happen again.
So yes, tough love is hard to do when you care so much about someone, but the results are worthwhile. Make a set of rules. send it to them before they come out next time and stick to them. Let them know there are consequences when the rules are broken and stand by them.
Otherwise you’re just pissin' in the wind.
Aug 5, 2019 19:39:03 #
100% correct. And if they never say "thank you" they Never receive another gift.
Aug 5, 2019 20:31:32 #
pmorin wrote:
There are times when Tough Love is called for. I l... (show quote)
Same thing, I also have three grandsons I love dearly except for the youngest red headed one (not so much) that is spoiled beyond belief. They also found their shoes on the front lawn the next morning. Didn't endear myself to them or their parents. Seems like I am always the bad guy. If they said they were never coming back again it would be alright with me. At least that is the way I felt today.
Aug 5, 2019 21:47:14 #
Kraken wrote:
Same thing, I also have three grandsons I love dearly except for the youngest red headed one (not so much) that is spoiled beyond belief. They also found their shoes on the front lawn the next morning. Didn't endear myself to them or their parents. Seems like I am always the bad guy. If they said they were never coming back again it would be alright with me. At least that is the way I felt today.
Everything mellows with time.
Aug 5, 2019 21:56:33 #
pmorin wrote:
Everything mellows with time.
I can only hope I live long enough to see it or maybe not.
Aug 6, 2019 05:48:35 #
Kraken wrote:
What ever happened to that? You don't have to invite friends and distant family back when they misbehave but what do you do with close relatives that totally act like morons, don't help with anything, let their kids run wild. We both believe we set a good example as our kids grew up but nothing seems to have taken. The whole weekend was tense and we had to walk on eggshells the whole week end. Any suggestions?
That's easy!
Its your home, don't invite them!! if they ask tell them why.
While I only had one relative like that it worked for me and the rest of the family.
Aug 6, 2019 08:03:02 #
Yeah, I remember days like that. Fortunately, I'm no longer in a position like that. All relatives are old and don't travel. : )
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