Church squirrels
Jul 10, 2019 23:22:50 #
For those who prefer the deep theological discussions......
The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.
At the Baptist church the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.
The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist church. Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide.
But the Catholic church came up with a very creative strategy! They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.
Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue. They took the first squirrel and circumcised him. They haven't seen a squirrel since....
The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.
At the Baptist church the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.
The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist church. Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide.
But the Catholic church came up with a very creative strategy! They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.
Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue. They took the first squirrel and circumcised him. They haven't seen a squirrel since....
Jul 11, 2019 01:42:38 #
Jul 11, 2019 08:15:30 #
Jul 11, 2019 10:56:43 #
Jul 11, 2019 12:31:09 #
but squirrels can be helpful at church, just ask Ray Stevens......https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K16fG1sDagU
Jul 11, 2019 13:07:26 #
ltatko wrote:
I trap them!!!!!!
So far 56 squirrels!!
Thank you Havahart!!
Len
So far 56 squirrels!!
Thank you Havahart!!
Len
So, what do you do with them after trapping them? You must have a really busy household with 56 squirrels!
Ed
Jul 11, 2019 13:27:24 #
WOW.........don't talk to HUMANS.....I knew there was a reason I stopped going to services.....yep !
Jul 11, 2019 16:02:52 #
Jul 11, 2019 19:00:01 #
Jul 11, 2019 19:50:40 #
chapjohn wrote:
Always loved this song. but squirrels can be helpful at church, just ask Ray Stevens......https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K16fG1sDagU
My grandmother lived next door to Bertha Betterthanyou. She didn't like the fact that I noticed she liked the boy that serviced her pool.
It really boils down to the fact that it is all about Recognition.
“Jews don’t recognize Jesus.
Protestants don’t recognize the Pope.
Baptists don’t recognize one another at the liquor store.”
Jul 12, 2019 00:15:01 #
When they are on the roof I shoot them! the hard part is finding the bullet holes so I can fill them with roofing cement.
Jul 23, 2019 08:38:56 #
Jul 23, 2019 14:43:19 #
Trapped squirrels. 1st, paint tail pink(spray). 2nd, take them 5miles away(min). 3rd, reload trap!!!
If I see a pink tail on lawn, go further away with them!!
Len
If I see a pink tail on lawn, go further away with them!!
Len
Jul 24, 2019 08:03:56 #
Quote "Trapped squirrels. 1st, paint tail pink(spray). 2nd, take them 5miles away(min). 3rd, reload trap!!!
"
Nice, that's the way to do it. Thanks.
"
Nice, that's the way to do it. Thanks.
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