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Pessimists
Jun 10, 2019 16:52:35   #
woodworkerman Loc: PA to FL
 
PESSIMISTS

An optimist sees the best in the world, while a pessimist sees only the worst. An optimist finds the positive in the negative, and a pessimist can only find the negative in the positive.

For example, as a duck hunter, I was in the market for a new bird dog a few years ago. My search finally ended when I found a dog that could not only retrieve but could actually walk on water! Shocked by my find, I was both skeptical that the dog would be able to keep this up after I purchased it (you know, maybe the salesman was somehow playing a cruel trick on me), and also that any of my friends would ever believe me.

I decided to try to break the news to one friend at a time starting with a long-time buddy who was also a hunter. He was a pessimist by nature but I invited him to hunt with me and my new dog.

As we waited, carefully concealed by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. We fired, and ducks fell at a distance. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the birds, never getting more than his paws wet. This continued all day long--each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it.

My pessimist buddy watched carefully, saw everything, but did not say a single word about it the entire day.

On the drive home, the silence was suddenly broken when my friend said, "Too bad about your dog."

A little surprised at his statement, I asked, "What do you mean?"

"I mean," drawled the pessimist slowly, "it's too bad ya got stuck with one that can't swim."

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Jun 10, 2019 16:59:04   #
hassighedgehog Loc: Corona, CA
 
Guessed the punch line long before it came.

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Jun 11, 2019 07:56:27   #
brobill Loc: Fort Worth, Texas ( Haslet)
 
When a house is lost to a fire....
The pessimist says ,”It burned down!”
The optimist says, “It burned up!”
Same result... different way of seeing it.

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Jun 11, 2019 11:03:37   #
Curmudgeon Loc: SE Arizona
 
The optimist says the 'glass is half full'
The pessimist says the 'glass is half empty'.
The engineer, after considerable thought and study says 'the glass is too big'.

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Jun 11, 2019 13:57:41   #
rmalarz Loc: Tempe, Arizona
 

--Bob
Curmudgeon wrote:
The optimist says the 'glass is half full'
The pessimist says the 'glass is half empty'.
The engineer, after considerable thought and study says 'the glass is too big'.

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Jun 11, 2019 17:04:32   #
camerabuff58 Loc: Ontario, Canada,
 
Good one.
Another is "a pessimist is one who looks both ways before crossing a one way street".

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Jun 12, 2019 02:55:07   #
BBurns Loc: South Bay, California
 
An optimist is a person who does not look at the situation realistically.

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Jun 12, 2019 09:30:39   #
danbir1 Loc: North Potomac, MD
 
I think he is a realist... there are crazy/drunk/drugged/destructed drivers out there and all you need is one time you don't look, even on a one way street.

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