Light Bulbs Are Really "Dark Suckers"
Aug 22, 2012 22:13:48 #
For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light, but recent information has proved otherwise. Electric bulbs don't emit light; they suck dark. Thus, we call these bulbs Dark Suckers.
The Dark Sucker Theory and the existence of dark suckers prove that dark has mass and is heavier than light.
First, the basis of the Dark Sucker Theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. For example, take the Dark Sucker in the room you are in. There is much less dark right next to it than there is elsewhere. The larger the Dark Sucker, the greater its capacity to to suck dark. Dark Suckers in the parking lot have a much greater capacity to suck dark than the ones in this room.
So with all things, Dark Suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the dark spot on a full Dark Sucker.
A candle is a primitive Dark Sucker. A new candle has a white wick. You can see that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing all the dark that has been sucked into it. If you put a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, it will turn black. This is because it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle. One of the disadvantages of these primitive Dark Suckers is their limited range.
There are also portable Dark Suckers. In these, the bulbs can't handle all the dark by themselves and must be aided by a Dark Storage Unit. When the Dark Storage Unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced before the portable Dark Sucker can operate again.
Dark has mass. When dark goes into a Dark Sucker, friction from the mass generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to touch an operating Dark Sucker. Candles present a special problem as the mass must travel into a solid wick instead of through clear glass. This generates a great amount of heat and therefore it's not wise to touch an operating candle.
Also, dark is heavier than light. If you were to swim just below the surface of the lake, you would see a lot of light. If you were to slowly swim deeper and deeper, you would notice it getting darker and darker. When you get really deep, you would be in total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the lighter light floats at the top. The is why it is called light.
Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were to stand in a lit room in front of a closed, dark closet, and slowly opened the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet. But since dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave the closet.
Next time you see an electric bulb, remember that it is a Dark Sucker.
:lol: :lol:
The Dark Sucker Theory and the existence of dark suckers prove that dark has mass and is heavier than light.
First, the basis of the Dark Sucker Theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. For example, take the Dark Sucker in the room you are in. There is much less dark right next to it than there is elsewhere. The larger the Dark Sucker, the greater its capacity to to suck dark. Dark Suckers in the parking lot have a much greater capacity to suck dark than the ones in this room.
So with all things, Dark Suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the dark spot on a full Dark Sucker.
A candle is a primitive Dark Sucker. A new candle has a white wick. You can see that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing all the dark that has been sucked into it. If you put a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, it will turn black. This is because it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle. One of the disadvantages of these primitive Dark Suckers is their limited range.
There are also portable Dark Suckers. In these, the bulbs can't handle all the dark by themselves and must be aided by a Dark Storage Unit. When the Dark Storage Unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced before the portable Dark Sucker can operate again.
Dark has mass. When dark goes into a Dark Sucker, friction from the mass generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to touch an operating Dark Sucker. Candles present a special problem as the mass must travel into a solid wick instead of through clear glass. This generates a great amount of heat and therefore it's not wise to touch an operating candle.
Also, dark is heavier than light. If you were to swim just below the surface of the lake, you would see a lot of light. If you were to slowly swim deeper and deeper, you would notice it getting darker and darker. When you get really deep, you would be in total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the lighter light floats at the top. The is why it is called light.
Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were to stand in a lit room in front of a closed, dark closet, and slowly opened the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet. But since dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave the closet.
Next time you see an electric bulb, remember that it is a Dark Sucker.
:lol: :lol:
Aug 22, 2012 22:26:24 #
My dadughter is gonna love this one. Me, too!
I have a theory also that a raindrop does not fall into the ocean. The raindrop opens up and the ocean rushes in.
I have a theory also that a raindrop does not fall into the ocean. The raindrop opens up and the ocean rushes in.
Aug 22, 2012 23:12:55 #
There is a corollary to this theorem related to computing. The actual processing inside a computer is done inside a dark matter derivative called smoke. And as long as the smoke stays inside the computer, it will do your bidding and add, subtract, surf, postprocess or whatever you want it to do.
If, however, you ever see the smoke escaping out the back of your computer, it is kaput and will no longer be able to do your bidding.
If, however, you ever see the smoke escaping out the back of your computer, it is kaput and will no longer be able to do your bidding.
Aug 22, 2012 23:24:21 #
PrairieSeasons wrote:
There is a corollary to this theorem related to computing. The actual processing inside a computer is done inside a dark matter derivative called smoke. And as long as the smoke stays inside the computer, it will do your bidding and add, subtract, surf, postprocess or whatever you want it to do.
If, however, you ever see the smoke escaping out the back of your computer, it is kaput and will no longer be able to do your bidding.
If, however, you ever see the smoke escaping out the back of your computer, it is kaput and will no longer be able to do your bidding.
Ah!! So THAT'S what happened to my confuser.....now I'm sure I'll be able to fix it......I just gotta go to the kitchen and cook....or is that the right kind of smoke????
Aug 22, 2012 23:24:55 #
I can't wait to see the clerks face at walmart when I ask where they keep their dark suckers.
Aug 23, 2012 06:42:25 #
And when you install or connect batteries backwards;
Flashlights cast shadows
Car horns suck
Flashlights cast shadows
Car horns suck
Aug 23, 2012 08:12:57 #
Aug 23, 2012 08:17:59 #
PrairieSeasons wrote:
There is a corollary to this theorem related to computing. The actual processing inside a computer is done inside a dark matter derivative called smoke. And as long as the smoke stays inside the computer, it will do your bidding and add, subtract, surf, postprocess or whatever you want it to do.
If, however, you ever see the smoke escaping out the back of your computer, it is kaput and will no longer be able to do your bidding.
If, however, you ever see the smoke escaping out the back of your computer, it is kaput and will no longer be able to do your bidding.
Microsoft has a "fix" for this now. They have a "mirror kit" which attaches to the back of your computer and effectively reflects the smoke back inside.
Quite simple actually, it's all done with "smoke and mirrors", a trademark Microsoft strategy.
Aug 23, 2012 08:36:53 #
BW326 wrote:
quote=PrairieSeasons There is a corollary to this... (show quote)
Wish I'd known this BEFORE my computer broke!!! :)
Aug 23, 2012 12:07:02 #
The originator of the dark sucker theory will either get the next Nobel prize in physics or be locked up for being a brain sucker.Does someone,um,have too much time on his hands???
Aug 23, 2012 12:44:24 #
Aug 23, 2012 13:10:18 #
jenny wrote:
The originator of the dark sucker theory will either get the next Nobel prize in physics or be locked up for being a brain sucker.Does someone,um,have too much time on his hands???
Such genius-level people usually labor anonymously -- probably because much of their creative work is done at the office.
Aug 23, 2012 15:05:26 #
hlmichel wrote:
I can't wait to see the clerks face at walmart when I ask where they keep their dark suckers.
Don't confuse them, they have a hard enough time with the English language as it is. :)
Aug 23, 2012 15:07:15 #
Aug 23, 2012 21:42:31 #
If you want to reply, then register here. Registration is free and your account is created instantly, so you can post right away.