jaycoffman Loc: San Diego

STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM

I would have given him 100%! Each answer is absolutely grammatically correct, and funny too. The teacher had no sense of humour!

Q1.. In which battle did Napoleon die?
*His last battle

Q2.. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
*At the bottom of the page

Q3.. River Ravi flows in which state?
*Liquid

Q4.. What is the main reason for divorce?
*Marriage

Q5.. What is the main reason for failure?
*Exams

Q6.. What can you never eat for breakfast?
*Lunch & dinner

Q7.. What looks like half an apple?
*The other half

Q8.. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea, what will it become?
*Wet

Q9.. How can a man go eight days without sleeping?
*No problem, he sleeps at night.

Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
*You will never find an elephant that has one hand.

Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have?
*Very large hands

Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
*No time at all, the wall is already built.

Q13. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it? *Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.

DragonsLady Loc: Los Alamos, NM

I agree - the kid should get 100% He shouldn't be penalized for recognizing the obvious.

Orson Burleigh Loc: Annapolis, Maryland, USA

Is that an approved short-form version of the LSAT?

robertjerl Loc: Corona, California

Old one and the person who wrote it is a bit lacking in knowledge of history. Napoleon didn't die in a battle. He died of stomach cancer in exile on the British island of St Helena May 5 1821. Of course many claim he was poisoned by someone, British, French rivales - take your pick. Others say it was his favorite wine which some claimed had arsenic in it. (They used to put a lot of things in wine, beer, booze, food and "medicine" that today we know are not good for you. Add in the fact that apple and many other seeds have cyanide, arsenic etc as a natural ingredient-that is why they say don't eat the seeds.)
And Napoleon being Corsican was into vendettas, he himself claimed someone owas poisoning him a month before he died.

jaycoffman Loc: San Diego

Good catch and you are correct (of course). The person who posted this story mentioned that too but I left it out as editor's choice.

dancers Loc: melbourne.victoria, australia

I remember getting a very low mark at school. because I could not understand the teacher's words. I thought he was speaking about Venetians...............it seemed he was saying Phoenecians............

SteveR Loc: Michigan

We all came up with ingenious answers to questions for which we didn't have the answer. These are some of the best.

BTW....Napoleon did not die in battle. He died in exile on St. Helena, probably of stomach cancer.

WessoJPEG Loc: Cincinnati, Ohio

Your intelligence is amazing, I’m not joking really mean it.
Have followed every thing you say, WHAT KNOWLEDGE.👍👍👍

jaymatt Loc: Alexandria, Indiana

Clever replies, granted; but from a teacher’s standpoint the little smart%^&* knew better and deserved to be failed.

nikon_jon Loc: Northeast Arkansas

I am in awe at your astute answer and the accuracy of your knowledge........oh, by the way, rivals is spelled rivals, not rivales, and apple seeds contain prussic acid, a component used in the production of cyanide. Prussic acid is indeed dangerous. I once read of a man who liked apple seeds and saved up a large quantity of them to eat. It was fatal.

jerryc41 Loc: Catskill Mts of NY

Blind Venetians?

biry

GROAN!!!!

Bill

Fotoartist Loc: Detroit, Michigan

Probably written by a clever educated adult.

jaymatt Loc: Alexandria, Indiana

robertjerl Loc: Corona, California

I am a READER!
I was sick a lot as a child, out of school 6-8 weeks with pneumonia (had it 4 times-2 were double pneumonia) in first grade and only promoted because when I was there I had the highest grades in the class. The Doctor didn't even want to risk moving me to the hospital so he made house calls - remember those? My stay at home Mom liked to read, so she read to me and my baby brother while I was bedridden. I came to associate reading with love, protection and safety. I was hooked!
Kept it up all my life, I tell people "I will read anything at least long enough to decide if I want to finish it."
I get fixated on a subject and will read many things on it then move on to another. In 12th grade I read 201 books, in a school whose library had about 3000 books. It was a contest/bet with a friend. We both had two study halls out of 7 periods and they were in the library. The last weekend of school he hit 200 books and figured he had clinched the win. I read book 201 on Mon-Wed of that week.
So yes, my memory looks like the basements of the Smithsonian, Natural History Museum and Library of Congress combined. Then the last school I taught at became a "Digital High School" (one of the greatest things the Dept of Ed ever came up with). I had gotten my first computer in the early 90s and did research at home (I was using a case of paper a month printing lessons etc for classroom use). When the school went digital every class room got at least one computer for the teacher and many had 2-3 for the students plus wifi with a range of 3 miles for everyone who lived nearby to work at home, 3 computer labs (one was Mac, run by an art teacher) and some rolling racks of 30 laptops each that could be moved from room to room. If you didn't sign up for a rack to be in your room for a week the first week of each semester your were out of luck. That school had 500+ computers, 100 laptops teachers could check out like a library book and many faculty had privately owned ones hooked into the network. I, the rest of the faculty and most of the students learned how to do on-line research with a vengeance.

So, I see a reference like the question about Napoleon and my memory kicks in then I do a quick search to refresh my memory as to the details.