Regardless of how personable the groom seems to be, it's the bride's day and that's all one needs to know. I'd keep the backout very simple as you expressed right here. "I don't think it's a good match", is all you have to convey.

Now, look at the behind the scenes part of this. The bride doesn't approve of you. The groom does. You do the work. Her opinion isn't going to change. You'll feel badly. The groom will have to live with that decision for the rest of his married days. Do you want to be remembered for that?
--Bob

I shot two weddings, both in the days of film, mid 90's, one as an assistant, the other as lead. The first one the family was very easy going and didn't give me or my uncle any stress at all. The results were awesome. The second one was a bride and her mother from the dark regions................... In spite of that the results were awesome, although I had to take less than what was negotiated. Although I did make up for it by jacking up my reprint prices.

Then I made proposals on two more and discovered that the are lots of bridezilla's out there and got out of weddings. The media at the time (and still is) was advocating that its a very special day, and of course it is. They also advocate being tough on vendors. I recall one wedding I went to as a guest for a distant cousin, where his wife complained that the seats weren't big enough and the iced tea wasn't cold enough. These cretins are hard on all vendors thinking they will get a better deal.

Now with everyone owning a cell phone with an obnoxious flash, tripping other flash triggered lights it becomes a minefield.

Good luck in your decision. Take a page out of wedding caterers, ask for full payment up front

My personal view of this situation is this. Older couple, both previously married and with kids means they are paying for the wedding and she is probably looking for a discount by insulting your work. If they come back to you that would be a stronger indication (to me) that she is looking for a discount and is going to cheap out any way she can. It would be a shame to see you put in all your hard work and time to have her do whatever she could to pay you as little as possible an then probably trash you on social media and on ratings sites like YELP.

I have worked in retail for over 30 years and dealt with unhappy customers and customers trying to take advantage. When I'm the customer and I'm not happy with the quality of work or the price I'm going elsewhere and that applies to photos or anything else.

I will add my vote to politely let them know that it is not going to work. Best of luck and there are many more people out there that will be very happy with your work. As this door closes....another will open.

Dodie

Back in the day when I actually did wedding photography I had a similar bad feeling and this is how I handled it. I visited the bride and mother as requested and sat with them for 30 minutes discussing my work, their desires and options. The daughter-mom fought with each other for the entire time. When it was time to discuss price, I told them I wasn't the least expensive in the area and quoted them a cost of $ 25.000.00. They said they'd think about it and thankfully I never heard from them again. Although I would have done their job at that price, that wedding was worth @ $2,500.00 at that time (about 25 years ago). I suggest that you price yourself out of the market and don't feel bad if you're not selected. Worked for me! Best of luck.

I am guessing this may be a "remorse" issue? Perhaps in retrospect, attempting to gain specific information from bridezilla could have allowed you to gracefully bow out at the meeting? No disrespect.
Brides and Bridezilla's rule the roost. If you are uncomfortable, maybe set up a short second meeting in order to decide? If you decide to shoot it. MT pointed out the importance of how a contract can benefit both photographer and client when services and limitations are spelled out in writing and signed by both parties. Let us know how this ends. Best of luck.

I just finished a wedding consultation.

I’m very nervous about the way it went down. I’ve never had to refuse to photograph a wedding before. But I have had one that I wish I had backed out of and now my intuition is telling me to back out of this one. So far I have not signed an agreement.

The bride was very negative, she didn’t smile much and felt like some of my work was out of focus. But the groom disagreed with her and was very personable and had looked at my portfolio in depth and liked what he saw.

I’ve got a bad feeling about this one. What’s the best way to tell them that it’s not a good fit? I’ve never done that before in all my years as a wedding photographer.

I just finished a wedding consultation.

I’m very nervous about the way it went down. I’ve never had to refuse to photograph a wedding before. But I have had one that I wish I had backed out of and now my intuition is telling me to back out of this one. So far I have not signed an agreement.

The bride was very negative, she didn’t smile much and felt like some of my work was out of focus. But the groom disagreed with her and was very personable and had looked at my portfolio in depth and liked what he saw.

I’ve got a bad feeling about this one. What’s the best way to tell them that it’s not a good fit? I’ve never done that before in all my years as a wedding photographer.