Some Old Jokes Fer All Youse Hoggers 😁😄😆
Jan 15, 2019 12:17:37 #
A copla old ones. Probably already posted here countless times, but I think worth repeating.
(Note : the last one is a bit of a self-portrait 🙃😁)
LittleRed (Ron)
Garage Door
The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said,
'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?'
The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question.
As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage door.'
He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my Jaguar parked in there?'
She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old minivan with two flat tires.
"
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting
on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years
old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'
"
A senior citizensaid to his eighty-year old buddy:
'So I hear you're getting married?'
'Yep!'
'Do I know her?'
'Nope!'
'This woman, is she good looking?'
'Not really.'
'Is she a good cook?'
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
'Does she have lots of money?'
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
'I don't know.'
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
'Because she can still drive!'
"
Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.'
(Note : the last one is a bit of a self-portrait 🙃😁)
LittleRed (Ron)
Garage Door
The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said,
'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?'
The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question.
As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage door.'
He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my Jaguar parked in there?'
She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old minivan with two flat tires.
"
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting
on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years
old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'
"
A senior citizensaid to his eighty-year old buddy:
'So I hear you're getting married?'
'Yep!'
'Do I know her?'
'Nope!'
'This woman, is she good looking?'
'Not really.'
'Is she a good cook?'
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
'Does she have lots of money?'
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
'I don't know.'
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
'Because she can still drive!'
"
Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.'
Jan 15, 2019 12:40:43 #
Jan 16, 2019 07:45:46 #
Jan 16, 2019 07:49:55 #
Jan 16, 2019 08:49:02 #
Jan 16, 2019 08:58:14 #
Let me add this one;
An elderly man visits his doctor. He asks for a prescription for Viagra. His doctor refuses and tells him his wife passed away years ago. The patient still insists. The doctor tells him he doesn't have a girlfriend either. The patient still insists. The doctor asks why would he want to take Viagra. The elderly patient tells the doctor, "I'm tired of waking up in the middle of the night and peeing on my bare feet.
An elderly man visits his doctor. He asks for a prescription for Viagra. His doctor refuses and tells him his wife passed away years ago. The patient still insists. The doctor tells him he doesn't have a girlfriend either. The patient still insists. The doctor asks why would he want to take Viagra. The elderly patient tells the doctor, "I'm tired of waking up in the middle of the night and peeing on my bare feet.
Jan 25, 2019 21:04:57 #
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