Texan Beer Drinker
Jan 13, 2019 03:00:32 #
A cowboy, who just moved to Montana from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud.
He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.
When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy,
"You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it.
It would taste better if you bought one at a time."
The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona , the other is in Colorado. When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.
One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs.
All the regulars take notice and fall silent.
When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."
The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.
"Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains.
"It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking."
"Hasn't affected my brothers though."
He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.
When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy,
"You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it.
It would taste better if you bought one at a time."
The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona , the other is in Colorado. When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.
One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs.
All the regulars take notice and fall silent.
When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."
The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.
"Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains.
"It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking."
"Hasn't affected my brothers though."
Jan 13, 2019 09:53:40 #
Jan 14, 2019 07:09:45 #
Jan 14, 2019 08:28:35 #
Jan 14, 2019 09:43:45 #
Jan 14, 2019 11:19:58 #
Jan 14, 2019 11:47:02 #
bedouin wrote:
Captain Hawkeye Pierce is alive and well. As a Texan, I strongly resemble this joke!
Jan 14, 2019 15:22:21 #
From around 1999:
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells him,
"You know, a pints goes flat after I draw it, it would taste better if you bought one at a time."
The Irishman replies,
"Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other is in Australia, and I'm in Dublin.
When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way, to remember the days we drank together.
So I drink one for each o'me brothers and one for me self,"
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way; He orders three pints and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says,
"I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."
The Irishman looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye, he laughs and explains,
"Oh, no, everybody's just fine! It's just that me wife, had us join that Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking Ya'no.
Hasn't affected me brothers though."
------------------
A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says,
"I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers.
I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back."
The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan's offer.
One man even leaves.
Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder.
"Is your bet still good?" asks the Irishman.
The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness.
Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses, drinking them all back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says,
"If ya don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?"
The Irishman replies,
"Oh ... I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first."
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells him,
"You know, a pints goes flat after I draw it, it would taste better if you bought one at a time."
The Irishman replies,
"Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other is in Australia, and I'm in Dublin.
When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way, to remember the days we drank together.
So I drink one for each o'me brothers and one for me self,"
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way; He orders three pints and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says,
"I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."
The Irishman looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye, he laughs and explains,
"Oh, no, everybody's just fine! It's just that me wife, had us join that Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking Ya'no.
Hasn't affected me brothers though."
------------------
A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says,
"I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers.
I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back."
The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan's offer.
One man even leaves.
Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder.
"Is your bet still good?" asks the Irishman.
The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness.
Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses, drinking them all back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says,
"If ya don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?"
The Irishman replies,
"Oh ... I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first."
Jan 14, 2019 15:29:36 #
A Texan is pulled over for driving erratically one night on a country road. The officer asked for driver's license, registration, and proof of insurance. The Texan says, I have all of that but would you hold my beer while I find it?
Jan 14, 2019 15:35:31 #
A good ol' boy from Arkansas gets pulled over by a Texas State Trooper for driving erratically one night on a country road. The officer says,
"You can't be driving like that in Texas. You got any ID, boy?"
The ol' boy from Arkansas says,
"'Bout what?"
"You can't be driving like that in Texas. You got any ID, boy?"
The ol' boy from Arkansas says,
"'Bout what?"
Jan 14, 2019 17:49:57 #
Jan 14, 2019 18:02:44 #
Jan 14, 2019 20:44:35 #
Jan 15, 2019 01:58:22 #
Jan 18, 2019 20:50:54 #
scooter1
Loc: Yacolt, Wa.
BBurns wrote:
A good ol' boy from Arkansas gets pulled over by a Texas State Trooper for driving erratically one night on a country road. The officer says,
"You can't be driving like that in Texas. You got any ID, boy?"
The ol' boy from Arkansas says,
"'Bout what?"
"You can't be driving like that in Texas. You got any ID, boy?"
The ol' boy from Arkansas says,
"'Bout what?"
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