Finally a resolution for the wall
Jan 5, 2019 16:54:15 #
lenben
Loc: Seattle
Pelosi Says She Will Skip Trump and Negotiate Directly with Putin
By Andy Borowitz11:43 A.M.
Photograph by J. Scott Applewhite / AP / Shutterstock
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a bold gambit to end the government shutdown, the House Speaker, Nancy Pelosi, said on Saturday that she would bypass Donald J. Trump and negotiate directly with the Russian President, Vladimir Putin.
“I owe it to the American people to bring this shutdown to the swiftest possible conclusion, and so I’m avoiding the middleman,” she said.
Pelosi, who is scheduled to board a plane to Moscow Saturday night, said that she had not informed Trump of her plans to deal directly with Putin. “Wh**ever,” she said.
Trump, when informed of this plan said,"This is deplorable. Putin is my voice and my leader. How dare Pelosi intervene in an alliance which is working well both for Russia and for my financial enterprises. I would ask her to stop this and negotiate with Trump cement and steel companies as well as the labor we expect to get on the cheap from Mexico to build the wall. I am expecting to profit over $2.5 billion when the Congress advances the money I am asking for."
In an official statement, Putin said that he welcomed Pelosi’s overture and shared her desire to end the shutdown. “At some point, I’d like to visit Yellowstone,” he said. A reporter asked whether he expects to get more benefits from his relationship with Trump. Putin noted that the benefits have freely come in and there is probably little more he needs at this point since Trump owes his country so much money.
By Andy Borowitz11:43 A.M.
Photograph by J. Scott Applewhite / AP / Shutterstock
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a bold gambit to end the government shutdown, the House Speaker, Nancy Pelosi, said on Saturday that she would bypass Donald J. Trump and negotiate directly with the Russian President, Vladimir Putin.
“I owe it to the American people to bring this shutdown to the swiftest possible conclusion, and so I’m avoiding the middleman,” she said.
Pelosi, who is scheduled to board a plane to Moscow Saturday night, said that she had not informed Trump of her plans to deal directly with Putin. “Wh**ever,” she said.
Trump, when informed of this plan said,"This is deplorable. Putin is my voice and my leader. How dare Pelosi intervene in an alliance which is working well both for Russia and for my financial enterprises. I would ask her to stop this and negotiate with Trump cement and steel companies as well as the labor we expect to get on the cheap from Mexico to build the wall. I am expecting to profit over $2.5 billion when the Congress advances the money I am asking for."
In an official statement, Putin said that he welcomed Pelosi’s overture and shared her desire to end the shutdown. “At some point, I’d like to visit Yellowstone,” he said. A reporter asked whether he expects to get more benefits from his relationship with Trump. Putin noted that the benefits have freely come in and there is probably little more he needs at this point since Trump owes his country so much money.
Jan 5, 2019 18:15:24 #
lenben wrote:
Pelosi Says She Will Skip Trump and Negotiate Dire... (show quote)
I enjoy Borowitz, he's one of my favorites. Expect the dull-witted to demand proof.
If you want to reply, then register here. Registration is free and your account is created instantly, so you can post right away.