Cliches
Nov 28, 2018 10:43:51 #
I try to avoid using cliches. Two that I especially don't like are, "I'm sorry for your loss," and "My thoughts and prayers are with you."
I first heard the "loss" one at a hospital when a had relative died, and I immediately thought it sounded like a canned phrase. Now, I hear it all the time on TV and in real life. You don't know what to say, so you push the button and get, "Sorry..."
"Thoughts and prayers" has become another automatic push-button response. It's about half a step better than saying nothing at all. Saying something original, from the heart, is always better. It won't sound polished or rehearsed, and as a result, it will sound sincere.
My two cents.
I first heard the "loss" one at a hospital when a had relative died, and I immediately thought it sounded like a canned phrase. Now, I hear it all the time on TV and in real life. You don't know what to say, so you push the button and get, "Sorry..."
"Thoughts and prayers" has become another automatic push-button response. It's about half a step better than saying nothing at all. Saying something original, from the heart, is always better. It won't sound polished or rehearsed, and as a result, it will sound sincere.
My two cents.
Nov 28, 2018 10:55:47 #
kb6kgx
Loc: Simi Valley, CA
You left out my favorites:
“sending love and light”.
“thoughts and prayers”.
“Crossed over the rainbow bridge.”
“sending love and light”.
“thoughts and prayers”.
“Crossed over the rainbow bridge.”
Nov 28, 2018 10:56:49 #
jerryc41 wrote:
I try to avoid using cliches. Two that I especial... (show quote)
And your choice of condolences would be?
Nov 28, 2018 10:58:28 #
Nov 28, 2018 10:58:44 #
Nov 28, 2018 11:00:53 #
To be fair...someone hits you with news of death or serious illness and who among us can come up with anything appropriate to say that would make the person feel better or believe that your sympathy is as real as their pain. If you think about it ahead of time because you know it's coming maybe but probably not. What bugs me are the "our thoughts and prayers" platitudes mouthed by the politicians on all sides after a mass shooting or other human caused tragedy who than do nothing about it or blame the victims. Don't get us started.
Nov 28, 2018 11:04:20 #
You left out "My two cents" LOL
jerryc41 wrote:
I try to avoid using cliches. Two that I especial... (show quote)
Nov 28, 2018 11:15:57 #
You also left out "getting closure", as if there is ever closure for survivors. Maybe grief fades, but there is no closure on memories.
Nov 28, 2018 11:21:17 #
An acquaintance dies, you aren’t really close, so you’re not able to say something relevant to their life, what do you say? Are you saying a person is not able to have heartfelt sorrow for the loss of a loved one? Guess we all have our irritants. Mine is yeah and yah instead of “yes.”
Nov 28, 2018 11:22:27 #
Katydid wrote:
Have a blessed day, Jerry.
I am so tired of that one.
I am so tired of that one.
"Did you say 'blasted'?" "And that's 'Jerry'." --Would be my 'canned' replies.
Nov 28, 2018 11:25:20 #
kb6kgx
Loc: Simi Valley, CA
“I hear ya” and “I heard that!”
Sure, you did. I just said it. You’re right there.
Sure, you did. I just said it. You’re right there.
Nov 28, 2018 11:25:44 #
CaptainBobBrown wrote:
To be fair...someone hits you with news of death o... (show quote)
"I can appreciate what you feel."
Nov 28, 2018 11:31:16 #
jerryc41 wrote:
I try to avoid using cliches. Two that I especial... (show quote)
I find a hug with silence is of great comfort.
Nov 28, 2018 11:39:10 #
Harry0
Loc: Gardena, Cal
Wanna piss me off? "It's OK- we included you in our prayers last night!" Or my un fave: "Prayers going up! Blessings coming down!"
Your belief system absolved you of actually doing anything to help other folk, other than a smarmy self satisfaction that you think your words may influence divine intervention?
I've worked construction and oil fields, raced cars and bikes, and had friends and family affected by fires, floods and storms. I've seen death and destruction. Our folk bought a slew of Ralphs and Target gift cards so the homeless in Chico and Paradise can buy clothes that fit, and food they like. I live in Los Angeles (for now) and various fire departments are running food drives. My EMT neighbor talks about little piles of these smiling creatures coming up. Care to donate? "NO! Even better! We're going to PRAY for you!"
Pray I don't find a bigger stick.
Your belief system absolved you of actually doing anything to help other folk, other than a smarmy self satisfaction that you think your words may influence divine intervention?
I've worked construction and oil fields, raced cars and bikes, and had friends and family affected by fires, floods and storms. I've seen death and destruction. Our folk bought a slew of Ralphs and Target gift cards so the homeless in Chico and Paradise can buy clothes that fit, and food they like. I live in Los Angeles (for now) and various fire departments are running food drives. My EMT neighbor talks about little piles of these smiling creatures coming up. Care to donate? "NO! Even better! We're going to PRAY for you!"
Pray I don't find a bigger stick.
Nov 28, 2018 11:54:19 #
CaptainBobBrown wrote:
What bugs me are the "our thoughts and prayers" platitudes mouthed by the politicians on all sides after a mass shooting or other human caused tragedy who than do nothing about it or blame the victims.
Amen, brother!
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