sarge69 Loc: Ft Myers, FL

You’re so dumb you don’t shoot in RAW because you think you’ll get E.Coli.

Your girlfriend tells me your camera isn’t the only thing that goes off in 1/8000th of a second.

Your momma so fat, I gotta shoot her at f/32 to get both her eyes in focus!

Your momma so fat I need all 39 focal points

What did Cinderalla say when she left the photo store?
Someday my prints will come.

How does Santa Claus take pictures?
With his North Polearoid.

How do you get the professional photographer off your front porch?
Pay him for the pizza.

A fellow bought a Labrador puppy from the pet store and named him Kodak.
That way he could say he owned a Kodak lab.

OK - last one for this post

The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to
start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive,
Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be
here soon".

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby
photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

"Good morning madam. You don't know me but I've come to..."

"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.

"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a speciality
of babies."

"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a
seat. Just where do we start?" asked Mrs. Smith, blushing.

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the
couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor
is fun too; you can really spread out."

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me."

"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if
we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles,
I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"I hope we can get this over with quickly," gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be
in and out in 5 minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure."

"Don't I know it!!", Mrs. Smith exclaimed.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of
his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus in downtown
Manhattan."

"Oh my god!!", Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider
their mother was so difficult to work with."

The photographer handed Mrs. Smith the picture.

"She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Central Park to get
the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep,
pushing to get a good look."

"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.

"Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three hours too
.
The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly
concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots.
Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just
packed it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your,
eh, equipment?".

"That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod
so that we can get to work."

"Tripod??", Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now.
"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too
big for me to hold while I'm getting ready for action.

Madam? Madam?...
Good Lord, she's fainted!!"

nikron7 Loc: Indianapolis

I had a photographer friend who had a dog named Kodak

Thanks for the morning humor.

hlmichel Loc: New Hope, Minnesota

:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

mlj Loc: Anderson, SC

This one made my day! Thanks!

sudzmonn Loc: here , there , everywhere

my sides hurt from laughing, morning humor - love it !

dtcracer

Much MUCH better than political squabbling! Thanks!

Moirish Loc: San Diego

You get an A+ for that last one and it is MUCH preferred than boring political arguments/discussions :-)

Quickflash Loc: Loganville, Ga

Sarge, you and a couple of others have rescued this section from the political crap and arguments that normally are here. Thanks for the laughs.