Swede Loc: Trail, BC Canada

I was walking home alone late one foggy, rainy night when behind me I hear;

Bump ...
Bump ...
Bump ...

As I pick up the pace a bit, I look back and through the fog and rain I can make out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street towards me.

Bump ...
Bump ...
Bump ...

I'm terrified and begin to run towards home, I look back and the casket has picked up speed- faster-faster

Faster ...
Faster ...
Faster ...
Bump...
Bump...
Bump...

I run up to my door, fumble with my keys, get the door open, rush in an slam and lock the door behind me.
However, the casket crashes through the door, with the lid of the casket clapping.

Clappity-bump...
Clappity-bump...
Clappity-bump...

With the casket on my heels, terrified I run--
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom I lock myself in. My heart is pounding, head is reeling, breath is coming in sobbing gasps.
With a loud crash the casket breaks down the door, bumping and clapping towards me, as it nears me I reach for something, anything, all I can reach is a bottle of cough syrup!! Desperate now, I throw it with all my might at the casket.

Well with GREAT relief –

The Coffin stopped.


Swede

BlueMorel Loc: Southwest Michigan

Groan!

foodie65

Rose42

That was so bad I had to smile.

safeman

The way you rate a pun is by measuring the time between the punch line and the resulting groan. This is a 10 second pun

SueScott Loc: Hammondsville, Ohio

Oh, brother!!!

foathog Loc: Greensboro, NC

BOOOOOO

phlash46 Loc: Westchester County, New York

Oh, ouch...

jerryc41 Loc: Catskill Mts of NY

Cute

Terry

I liked it

ted smith Loc: near Waupaukonnetta, Ohio

It's not the cough that carries you off.
It's the coffin they carry you off in. tcs

Ava'sPapa Loc: Cheshire, Ct.

Jeeeez. But I did kinda like it.

dc3legs Loc: Tucson

That's despicable. Got any more?

DJ Mills Loc: Idaho

Marvelous 👍

Anhanga Brasil Loc: Cabo Frio - Brazil

Thanks for the laughs. I love puns. The poorer the better.
Unfortunately it is impossible to translate it into Portuguese.
Please, keep them coming.