pilot Joke: “Flight Attendant” “Yes, Sir?” “I want to complain about this airline. Every time I fly, I get the same seat, I can’t see the in-flight movie and there are no window blinds...

lbrande

“Flight Attendant”
“Yes, Sir?”
“I want to complain about this airline. Every time I fly, I get the same seat, I can’t see the in-flight movie and there are no window blinds so I can sleep. And, the internet doesn't work.”
“Captain, you have to land the airplane.”

jerryc41 Loc: Catskill Mts of NY

lbrande wrote:

“Flight Attendant”
“Yes, Sir?”
“I want to complain about this airline. Every time I fly, I get the same seat, I can’t see the in-flight movie and there are no window blinds so I can sleep. And, the internet doesn't work.”
“Captain, you have to land the airplane.”

Yeah, I always feel sorry for the pilot while I am crammed into that tiny seat with the guy in front of me reclined, trying to watch a repulsive movie. At least I don't have airline food to complain about. I have to bring my own.

Tom G Loc: Atlanta, GA

lbrande wrote:

“Flight Attendant”
“Yes, Sir?”
“I want to complain about this airline. Every time I fly, I get the same seat, I can’t see the in-flight movie and there are no window blinds so I can sleep. And, the internet doesn't work.”
“Captain, you have to land the airplane.”

WOT !

charles tabb Loc: Richmond VA.

lbrande wrote:

“Flight Attendant”
“Yes, Sir?”
“I want to complain about this airline. Every time I fly, I get the same seat, I can’t see the in-flight movie and there are no window blinds so I can sleep. And, the internet doesn't work.”
“Captain, you have to land the airplane.”

Thanks, for that, since my wife & I will be taking a flight to Switzerland tomorrow.
I really needed that.

oregon don

you are complaining? Once I had the middle seat and I swear the two guy on either side of me were pro football players! At the time I was 165 and 5' 9"

lbrande

charles tabb wrote:

Thanks, for that, since my wife & I will be taking a flight to Switzerland tomorrow.
I really needed that.

My wife and I flew SwissAir to Europe, and the Flight Attendants were "Stunning". The food was great and the seats were comfortable. We flew from LAX direct.

lbrande

oregon don wrote:

you are complaining? Once I had the middle seat and I swear the two guy on either side of me were pro football players! At the time I was 165 and 5' 9"

I showed up late to my Southwest flight, but was "lucky" in that I got an isle seat. Unfourtunately, the 365 pound person was in the center seat and took up 1/2 of the window and isle seats. That sucked!

EdJ0307 Loc: out west someplace

When I was in the Air Force and transferred to Hickam AFB in Hawaii they shipped us over there on a MAC cargo plane modified to carry passengers if you can image what that would be like. The pilot invited anyone interested to come up to the cockpit and watch the "action" going on up there. Can you see that happening today? But anyway, I went up to check it out. The pilot was sitting in his seat reading a book and the co-pilot was reading the newspaper.
I've heard it said that flying a plane is hours of boredom interspersed with moments of sheer terror. I witnessed some of the hours of boredom but luckily didn't see any of the sheer terror.

Fkaufman1 Loc: Florida

I flew on a c141, from Dover to Germany, in charge jump seat, no cargo completely empty, could play football in hold, even got to watch in air refueling great

Fkaufman1 Loc: Florida

I flew on a c141, from Dover to Germany, in charge jump seat, no cargo completely empty, could play football in hold, even got to watch in air refueling great

lbrande

EdJ0307 wrote:

When I was in the Air Force and transferred to Hic... (show quote)

When I was much younger, the attendant escorted me to the cockpit where the pilot was leaning back in his seat with his legs on the glareshield. His fingers were twisting the autopilot knob to keep the plane on perfect course.

buckwheat Loc: Clarkdale, AZ and Belen NM

Going to SEA in 1967, Continental Airlines reconfigured the cabins to fit three seats, aisle, three seats. I was sandwiched between two very nervous EODs who chain smoked the entire 18 hour flight!

rfmaude41 Loc: Lancaster, Texas (DFW area)

lbrande wrote:

My wife and I flew SwissAir to Europe, and the Flight Attendants were "Stunning". The food was great and the seats were comfortable. We flew from LAX direct.

Always used SwissAir from Zurich to NY when coming home from North Africa. Best airline I've ever used.

Los-Angeles-Shooter Loc: Los Angeles

EL AL is the best I ever flew on. British Airways was good, Air France terrible. Aeroflot beyond terrible.

Beard43 Loc: End of the Oregon Trail

In the days of slavery, they called it "tight pack". Today it's Southwest Airlines.

Ron