Truer words were never spoken
Aug 22, 2018 14:00:57 #
MrBossHK
Loc: The West Valley of Phoenix metro area
I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.
Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.
I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.
I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
Old age is coming at a really bad time.
When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment. Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.
The biggest lie I tell myself is ”I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
I don’t have gray hair; I have "wisdom highlights"!
If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.
Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.
At my age “Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.
Actually, I'm not complaining because I am a Senager. (Senior teenager) I have everything that I wanted as a teenager,
only 60 years later. I don’t have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don’t
have a curfew. I have a driver’s license and my own car. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant.
And I don’t have acne.
Life is great.
I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can’t remember their names.
Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.
I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.
I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
Old age is coming at a really bad time.
When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment. Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.
The biggest lie I tell myself is ”I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
I don’t have gray hair; I have "wisdom highlights"!
If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.
Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.
At my age “Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.
Actually, I'm not complaining because I am a Senager. (Senior teenager) I have everything that I wanted as a teenager,
only 60 years later. I don’t have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don’t
have a curfew. I have a driver’s license and my own car. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant.
And I don’t have acne.
Life is great.
I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can’t remember their names.
Aug 22, 2018 14:06:36 #
Aug 22, 2018 14:36:18 #
Aug 22, 2018 14:41:46 #
Aug 22, 2018 16:07:30 #
Aug 22, 2018 16:28:23 #
Aug 23, 2018 06:39:57 #
Aug 23, 2018 08:31:07 #
...and we don't have to worry about getting busted for drugs because the doctor prescribed them all.
Aug 23, 2018 09:21:52 #
Aug 23, 2018 10:11:02 #
Aug 23, 2018 13:52:34 #
Aug 23, 2018 14:30:42 #
Aug 23, 2018 14:40:38 #
Aug 23, 2018 15:11:22 #
Aug 23, 2018 15:20:14 #
Not gunshot, just the slide of an automatic going home at about 60 db.
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