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Girl on a Mountain Railway
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Aug 13, 2018 09:21:25   #
magnetoman Loc: Purbeck, Dorset, UK
 
Your thoughts upon effectiveness appreciated should you feel inclined.


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Aug 13, 2018 09:36:46   #
rmalarz Loc: Tempe, Arizona
 
I think this is a classic. Trains invoke thoughts of travel. The frozen glance out of the window invoke thoughts of destination, whether it is known or unknown.

This photo reminds me of one I took years ago but in a completely different setting.
--Bob

magnetoman wrote:
Your thoughts upon effectiveness appreciated should you feel inclined.

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Aug 13, 2018 09:53:48   #
Linda From Maine Loc: Yakima, Washington
 
I am stuck because I can't find a reason for the tram to be in color. Does it represent the path not chosen, or does it contain the lover whom the woman has left, or ...? There is a disconnect between the prominence of the tram due to its colors and its appearing so innocuous otherwise (not moving, no massive engine pulling it, not disappearing into fog).

A minor issue to consider: the upper right area behind the woman's head - perhaps blur that a little. I'm very drawn to the woman's strong presence, including your pp there. The angle of the tram's tracks relative to the car holding the woman is a very strong compositional element IMO.

Looking forward to reading other reactions + your own comments on this thought-provoking work, Dave!

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Aug 13, 2018 10:18:16   #
artBob Loc: Near Chicago
 
Nicely done, evocative. The train car seems too saturated to me, overpowering the composition and the main subject.

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Aug 13, 2018 10:40:57   #
kenievans Loc: Dallas
 
Dave I really like what you have done here. Great lines and a great image of the woman. She looks cool, calm and in deep in thought but you wonder what she is hiding behind those glasses however, I am with Linda on the color of the distant train cars. My eyes keep being drawn to them away from the woman and I wonder what the relationship is. If that was your intention it is very effective. Like the lyrics of a well written song the listener/viewer can draw their own meaning and story. On the other hand if you were using the color to help tell a story I don't think it comes through clearly.

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Aug 13, 2018 11:29:45   #
deer2ker Loc: Nashville, TN
 
Really really nice thought provoking picture! I am in agreement with Linda - love the color saturation of the wood trim and glasses but the railway car is a little bright for me. I like the idea of color but maybe muted more?
magnetoman wrote:
Your thoughts upon effectiveness appreciated should you feel inclined.

Reply
Aug 13, 2018 13:58:04   #
magnetoman Loc: Purbeck, Dorset, UK
 
rmalarz wrote:
I think this is a classic. Trains invoke thoughts of travel. The frozen glance out of the window invoke thoughts of destination, whether it is known or unknown.

This photo reminds me of one I took years ago but in a completely different setting.
--Bob


Thanks Bob, I’m glad it works for you. If you can find that photo and would like to append it, please feel free, I’d be interested to see it.

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Aug 13, 2018 14:09:24   #
magnetoman Loc: Purbeck, Dorset, UK
 
Linda From Maine wrote:
I am stuck because I can't find a reason for the tram to be in color. Does it represent the path not chosen, or does it contain the lover whom the woman has left, or ...? There is a disconnect between the prominence of the tram due to its colors and its appearing so innocuous otherwise (not moving, no massive engine pulling it, not disappearing into fog).

A minor issue to consider: the upper right area behind the woman's head - perhaps blur that a little. I'm very drawn to the woman's strong presence, including your pp there. The angle of the tram's tracks relative to the car holding the woman is a very strong compositional element IMO.

Looking forward to reading other reactions + your own comments on this thought-provoking work, Dave!
I am stuck because I can't find a reason for the t... (show quote)


Maybe the train is too saturated, most seem to think so - I just wanted the viewer to include it when looking, not push it aside as of no consequence. I want it to be an essential element for whatever story you want to follow. Now, if I blur what’s behind the girl, it means I should blur everything at that distance outside the train windows. I’m not sure that would be good? As for the train’s angle, we’re on a single-track line with passing loops, one of which we have just come round in order to let the colourful train by. Ships that pass, and all that. I rather like that angle. Thanks for your thoughts Linda, always interesting. If I were to print, which is unlikely, I would do the desat.

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Aug 13, 2018 14:10:05   #
magnetoman Loc: Purbeck, Dorset, UK
 
artBob wrote:
Nicely done, evocative. The train car seems too saturated to me, overpowering the composition and the main subject.


Thanks Bob - I accept the need to desaturate the train a bit.

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Aug 13, 2018 14:12:25   #
magnetoman Loc: Purbeck, Dorset, UK
 
kenievans wrote:
Dave I really like what you have done here. Great lines and a great image of the woman. She looks cool, calm and in deep in thought but you wonder what she is hiding behind those glasses however, I am with Linda on the color of the distant train cars. My eyes keep being drawn to them away from the woman and I wonder what the relationship is. If that was your intention it is very effective. Like the lyrics of a well written song the listener/viewer can draw their own meaning and story. On the other hand if you were using the color to help tell a story I don't think it comes through clearly.
Dave I really like what you have done here. Great... (show quote)


I’m not offering a story, you have to make your own a Keni, but I agree the train needs toning-down a little. I just want it to be part of your story. Many thanks for contributing, it all helps.

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Aug 13, 2018 14:13:28   #
magnetoman Loc: Purbeck, Dorset, UK
 
deer2ker wrote:
Really really nice thought provoking picture! I am in agreement with Linda - love the color saturation of the wood trim and glasses but the railway car is a little bright for me. I like the idea of color but maybe muted more?


Yep, muted more is the consensus here deer2ker. Thanks for your comments.

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Aug 13, 2018 19:51:54   #
ebrunner Loc: New Jersey Shore
 
magnetoman wrote:
Your thoughts upon effectiveness appreciated should you feel inclined.


I don't have a problem with the color of the oncoming train. I think that it does draw some of the viewer's attention without distracting us from the real subject which is the woman. I would consider printing this. I find myself really attracted to the composition. You nailed this one!
Erich

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Aug 14, 2018 03:20:44   #
magnetoman Loc: Purbeck, Dorset, UK
 
ebrunner wrote:
I don't have a problem with the color of the oncoming train. I think that it does draw some of the viewer's attention without distracting us from the real subject which is the woman. I would consider printing this. I find myself really attracted to the composition. You nailed this one!
Erich


Thanks Erich, glad you approve.

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Aug 14, 2018 08:31:03   #
NJFrank Loc: New Jersey
 
I like the composition of this shot. The woman, for me is perfectly placed in the pic. Her facial expression sets the mode. So much can be read into it. My only nic pic is the red train. I find the color to be a distraction. Perhaps putting the woman in color and not the train would work better. Just a thought.

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Aug 14, 2018 08:36:13   #
magnetoman Loc: Purbeck, Dorset, UK
 
NJFrank wrote:
I like the composition of this shot. The woman, for me is perfectly placed in the pic. Her facial expression sets the mode. So much can be read into it. My only nic pic is the red train. I find the color to be a distraction. Perhaps putting the woman in color and not the train would work better. Just a thought.


That’s a thought Frank. Won’t be quite so colourful but may work in a different way. The only problem is, we may discard the train as of no consequence. I’ll have a look at it.

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