Niklon Loc: Athens, Ga

Police Officer Test
How do you tell the difference between a Canadian Police Officer, an Australian Police Officer, an American Police Officer and a Scottish Police Officer?
Consider this test scenario:
QUESTION: You're a policeman, on duty by yourself. You are walking on a deserted street late at night.Suddenly,

an armed man with a knife comes around the corner, screams obscenities, and lunges at you. You're carrying your truncheon however, you have only a split second to react. What do you do?


ANSWERS:
Canadian Police Officer :
Firstly, the Officer must consider the man's human rights.
1) Does the man look poor and/or oppressed?
2) Is he newly arrived in Canada and not understand the law?
3) Is it really a knife or a ceremonial dagger?
4) Have I ever done anything to him that would make him attack?
5) Am I dressed provocatively?
6) Could I run away?
7) Could I swing my truncheon and knock the knife from his hand?
8) Should I try and negotiate to discuss his wrong-doings?
9) What kind of message does my truncheon send to society?
10) Does he want to kill me or just to wound me?
11) If I grabbed his knees and held on, would he still want to kill me?
12) If I raise my truncheon and he runs away, is it my fault if he falls over, hits his head and dies?
13) If I hurt him and lose the court case, can he sue me, cost me my job and my credibility.
14 ) Is he a First Nations person?

Australian Police Officer:
BANG !
American Police Officer:
BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG !
'Click'...Reload... BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG !

Glasgow Police Officer:
"Haw, Jimmie....! Drop the wee knifie reight noo, unless ye want it stuck up yer arse!

orrie smith Loc: Kansas

Not really funny. Our police officers in general do a fine job and are not trigger happy. The people that protect and serve our country and community should be honored and respected for what they put on the line for our safety and freedoms, they should not be the blunt of jokes. Until you are able to walk in their shoes, lighten up.

dcampbell52 Loc: Clearwater Fl

I have to agree with you. However, I do have issued with the FBI dropping the ball 3 times on the Florida School shooter and then the local police officers that stayed outside and watched the "evacuation" rather than entering and trying to do something. Fortunately, they had a recording of him on the radio telling other officers to stay out and he has been put on suspension awaiting termination. Given all of the hubbub about this case, he probably will be fired.

jsmangis Loc: Peoria, IL

Unfortunately, that is more sad than funny. the recent police shooting of an unarmed black man in California shines a glaring light on the racism that is still rampant in every part of American society. That said, the only truly accurate description was the last one.

Joe Blow

The FBI don't do local policing. They neither dropped the ball nor did the local police. The problem is it was easier for the shooter to get a gun than it was to get a driver's license. Blaming police for the law is to turn your back on those responsible for drafting the laws.

Unless you know what is inside, it is always prudent to not charge inside. A dead cop doesn't help anyone. Nor would his going in with gun drawn and shooting have been a good idea either. Police are trained to not shoot into a crowd.

Keldon Loc: Yukon, B.C.

Well I thought it was funny. Lighten up people.

phlash46 Loc: Westchester County, New York

PaulBrit Loc: Merlin, Southern Oregon

Me too! I giggled immediately after reading the joke, then read the comments and thought that once again I was demonstrating my American social ignorance! (But do love this part of Oregon!)

rpavich Loc: West Virginia

Yes they did. That's documented.



Hahaha..you must never have bought a gun. What planet do you live on?

That's not even close to being true.

rpavich Loc: West Virginia

This was funny...folks need to lighten up a bit.

charles tabb Loc: Richmond VA.

robertjerl Loc: Corona, California

Racism had nothing to do with Sacramento. One of the officers who shot him was black.
It was more a training and fire discipline problem.
Most police are not trained to work in groups - where one or two only should be the dedicated shooters with the rest for backup. And that one or two who shoot should have had fire discipline drilled into them to the point it required no thinking. Shoot (usually a double or triple tap), pause, evaluate the results, then shoot again if necessary. With enough training and practice this sequence can be done so fast most people would not even realize it took place.
They also gave the wrong command first. He should have been told to get on the ground first, then show his hands. (Based on one article I read with a description of the incident.) He was told to show his hands and in the heat of the moment the cell phone was mistaken for a weapon. Then the lack of fire discipline took over and 20 shots were fired when only a few would have been called for - or none.

robertjerl Loc: Corona, California

Yes, they did mess up. Between the FBI and locals about the only things they didn't have was Cruz telling them he planned to shoot up a school (he sorta did that on social media) and the Goodyear blimp floating over him with a banner reading "School Shooter/Nut Case - Please Take to Shrink For Eval".

happy sailor Loc: Ontario, Canada

I agree that for 99% of the time or better the police do a fine job and are not trigger happy. But they are people and can make mistakes!

On the other hand it was probably a cop that made up this joke. I think most of the police would laugh at this joke about their profession.

And I walked in those shoes for 36 years and I laughed!!!

pbearperry Loc: Massachusetts

I was a City cop for 32 years and never pulled the trigger once.