Squirrel Infestation
Mar 21, 2018 11:28:30 #
Niklon
Loc: Athens, Ga
The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.
At the Baptist church the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.
The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist Church. Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide.
But the Catholic church came up with a very creative strategy! They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.
Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue; they took the first squirrel and circumcised him. They haven't seen a squirrel since.
At the Baptist church the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.
The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist Church. Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide.
But the Catholic church came up with a very creative strategy! They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.
Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue; they took the first squirrel and circumcised him. They haven't seen a squirrel since.
Mar 21, 2018 11:42:50 #
Mar 21, 2018 11:46:50 #
Mar 21, 2018 11:58:18 #
Hilarious. I need to try the Jewish solution with the squirrels in my back yard.
Mar 21, 2018 12:44:16 #
The Pastor at the Methodist Church is a good ol'boy from the Kentucky. He posted a recipe for "Burgoo Stew"*on the outside walls of the church. Now the squirrels keep a perimeter of guards around the church to warn other squirrels off.
*For those of you who don't know Southern cooking this is a stew made with 3 or more kinds of meat. Usually a mix of wild and domestic and when I was a kid mostly made in big iron stew pots at hunting camps. During squirrel season.
*For those of you who don't know Southern cooking this is a stew made with 3 or more kinds of meat. Usually a mix of wild and domestic and when I was a kid mostly made in big iron stew pots at hunting camps. During squirrel season.
Mar 21, 2018 12:44:44 #
Mar 22, 2018 09:32:27 #
Mar 22, 2018 10:07:45 #
Mar 22, 2018 10:18:58 #
Mar 22, 2018 12:33:39 #
Mar 22, 2018 14:24:29 #
Squirrels are welcome in my yard. I keep them in nuts and they keep me entertained.
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Mar 22, 2018 16:47:42 #
Mar 22, 2018 22:38:34 #
mas24
Loc: Southern CA
Hal81 wrote:
Squirrels are welcome in my yard. I keep them in nuts and they keep me entertained.
With so many feeding stations you provide, no wonder they are welcome in your yard
Mar 22, 2018 22:44:26 #
mas24
Loc: Southern CA
Niklon wrote:
The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide... (show quote)
At least one of the squirrels is Jewish now. Wherever he went.
Mar 23, 2018 04:50:28 #
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