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Are you a Lexophile..........Graham
Feb 28, 2018 06:03:10 #
Lexophile" is a word used to describe those that have a love for words, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless." A competition to see who can come up with the best lexophiles is held every year in an undisclosed location. Here are this year's 2017 winning submissions:
....When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
... A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
... When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
... The batteries were given out free of charge.
.. A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
... A will is a dead giveaway.
... With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
... A boiled egg is hard to beat.
... When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
.. Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
... Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.
.. A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.
... When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
... The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
... He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
... When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.
... Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.
And finally:
... Those who get too big for their britches will be totally exposed in the end.
Cheers and Beers
Graham
\098/
....When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
... A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
... When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
... The batteries were given out free of charge.
.. A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
... A will is a dead giveaway.
... With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
... A boiled egg is hard to beat.
... When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
.. Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
... Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.
.. A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.
... When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
... The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
... He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
... When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.
... Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.
And finally:
... Those who get too big for their britches will be totally exposed in the end.
Cheers and Beers
Graham
\098/
Feb 28, 2018 06:30:14 #
Those are pretty darn good. Though they need to loose one of them (for now).
"... When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A."
We don't have bad smog anymore due to the AQMD, DMV, California EPA; Vehicle emissions laws, industrial gaseous waste discharge laws. Now the only significant times we have "bad air" is while wildfires are going on and that only last until shortly after the fire is out. During the Ninteen Seventies my eyes "burned" from the smog almost daily in warmer weather.
"... When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A."
We don't have bad smog anymore due to the AQMD, DMV, California EPA; Vehicle emissions laws, industrial gaseous waste discharge laws. Now the only significant times we have "bad air" is while wildfires are going on and that only last until shortly after the fire is out. During the Ninteen Seventies my eyes "burned" from the smog almost daily in warmer weather.
Feb 28, 2018 06:41:56 #
Check out Infrared Photography section of our forum.
Feb 28, 2018 06:43:55 #
Police were chasing a crook. He jumped on a scale and got a weigh.
Feb 28, 2018 07:00:31 #
Feb 28, 2018 07:05:40 #
Feb 28, 2018 08:57:21 #
Feb 28, 2018 17:44:50 #
Mar 1, 2018 06:30:40 #
Its like the guy who was in a prison, he rubbed his together till they were saw, used the saw to cut a table in half,... two halves make a whole,... so he climbed out through the hole.... He went on to shout and shout till his voice was horse.... He jumped on the horse and rode away.
Mar 1, 2018 16:55:16 #
As Stan Laurel once said," You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead !"
William Claud Fields said," If I had my life to live over, I'd live over a saloon".
If reincarnation is the order of the day, I'll follow W. C. Fields .
William Claud Fields said," If I had my life to live over, I'd live over a saloon".
If reincarnation is the order of the day, I'll follow W. C. Fields .
Mar 1, 2018 17:00:28 #
Then there was the optometrist who fell headfirst into his lens grinding machine.
He made a spectacle of himself!
He made a spectacle of himself!
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