For my pal, Graham
Feb 27, 2018 06:36:51 #
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender takes a look at him and asks,” Why the long face, pal?”
Bartender hears a knock at the door. Opening door he sees a snail and kicks him into the parking lot shouting ,”We don’t serve snails here!”
Six month later he hears a knock and opens the door. The snail is back and asks,” Why did you do that to me, mister?”
And the greatest twisted humor in history....
A man has a dog with no legs. He loves this poor pooch and walks him in a wagon every day.
A new neighbor sees them and trying to make conversation asks the dog’s name.
He doesn’t have a name replied the dog owner.
The neighbor is stunned saying all dogs have names. Why didn’t you give him a name?
The answer... are you ready?
“He wouldn’t come if I called him!”
Bartender hears a knock at the door. Opening door he sees a snail and kicks him into the parking lot shouting ,”We don’t serve snails here!”
Six month later he hears a knock and opens the door. The snail is back and asks,” Why did you do that to me, mister?”
And the greatest twisted humor in history....
A man has a dog with no legs. He loves this poor pooch and walks him in a wagon every day.
A new neighbor sees them and trying to make conversation asks the dog’s name.
He doesn’t have a name replied the dog owner.
The neighbor is stunned saying all dogs have names. Why didn’t you give him a name?
The answer... are you ready?
“He wouldn’t come if I called him!”
Feb 27, 2018 06:59:41 #
Feb 27, 2018 07:01:15 #
Good to begin the day with a chuckle/ maybe even a chortle.
Feb 27, 2018 08:05:47 #
I am 83 now, it has always been my desire to wake up with a smile and go to bed with a good laff.
Thanks for keeping me healthy.
Don
Thanks for keeping me healthy.
Don
Feb 27, 2018 08:06:28 #
Feb 27, 2018 08:06:44 #
Feb 28, 2018 07:49:09 #
A blind man is waiting to cross the street. As his guide dog leads him into the street a truck comes barreling down the street and only the quick action of the driver prevents a disaster.
The man continues across the street and upon reaching the safety of the opposite corner he reaches into his pocket for a treat and procedes to feed it to the dog. "Excuse me, sir" says I "but why are you rewarding your dog? He nearly got you killed!"
"Rewarding him?" he says. "I'm just trying to find out which end his mouth is so I can kick him in the arse!"
The man continues across the street and upon reaching the safety of the opposite corner he reaches into his pocket for a treat and procedes to feed it to the dog. "Excuse me, sir" says I "but why are you rewarding your dog? He nearly got you killed!"
"Rewarding him?" he says. "I'm just trying to find out which end his mouth is so I can kick him in the arse!"
Feb 28, 2018 10:42:38 #
Feb 28, 2018 10:54:50 #
fhadfield wrote:
From a dog lover, that's bad!
My apologies!
No offense intended but I think someone might be offended by any joke I know☹️
Feb 28, 2018 11:05:14 #
Feb 28, 2018 13:42:42 #
Feb 28, 2018 17:44:23 #
Rene Descartes walks into a bar and orders a drink. When he finishes his drink, the bartender asks him if he'd like another. Descartes replies "I think not." and he disappears!
Mar 1, 2018 12:04:04 #
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