Snow
Jan 15, 2018 12:07:21 #
jaycoffman
Loc: San Diego
I know this may not be funny to some of you but it reminds me of much of my childhood and may be relevant to this winter.
Diary of a Snow Shoveler
December 8: 6:00 PM.
It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took
our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft
flakes drift down from heaven. So romantic, we felt like newlyweds again.
I love snow!
December 9:
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch
of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely
place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had.
Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life.
December 12:
The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My
neighbor Bob tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas.
No snow on Christmas would be awful! He says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think
that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.
December 14:
Snow, lovely snow! 8" more last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The
cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I
warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The
snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't
realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly
get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.
December 15:
20 inches forecasted. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow
tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The
wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's
silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.
December 16:
Ice storm this morning. Fell on my butt on the ice in the driveway
putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour. Very cruel.
December 17:
Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity
was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing
to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I
should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her, I hate it
when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living
room.
December 20:
Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn stuff last night.
More shoveling. Took all day. Snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.
December 22:
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of it
fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till
August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and
then I had to pee. By the time I got undressed, peed and dressed
again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on
his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. Lying jerk.
December 23:
Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0 degrees. The wife wanted me
to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she nuts!!! Why
didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she's LYING.
December 24:
6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel. Thought I was
having a heart attack. If I ever catch the guy who drives that snowplow, I'll kill him. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour
and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas Carols with her and open our presents, but I was busy watching for the damn snowplow.
December 25:
Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the !=@x<mailto:!=@x>@!! slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. Wow, I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I have to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to kill her AND myself.
December 26:
Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea.
She's really getting on my !@=&! nerves<mailto:!@=&!%20nerves>;.
December 27:
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.
December 28:
Warmed up to above -10. Still snowed in. My wife is driving me
crazy!!!!!
December 29:
10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in.
He's the biggest idiot I know. How dumb does he think I am???
December 30:
Roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me for a million dollars.
The wife went home to her mother. 9" predicted.
December 31:
Set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.
January 8:
I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving
me. Why am I tied to the bed?
Diary of a Snow Shoveler
December 8: 6:00 PM.
It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took
our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft
flakes drift down from heaven. So romantic, we felt like newlyweds again.
I love snow!
December 9:
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch
of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely
place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had.
Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life.
December 12:
The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My
neighbor Bob tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas.
No snow on Christmas would be awful! He says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think
that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.
December 14:
Snow, lovely snow! 8" more last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The
cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I
warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The
snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't
realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly
get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.
December 15:
20 inches forecasted. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow
tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The
wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's
silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.
December 16:
Ice storm this morning. Fell on my butt on the ice in the driveway
putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour. Very cruel.
December 17:
Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity
was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing
to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I
should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her, I hate it
when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living
room.
December 20:
Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn stuff last night.
More shoveling. Took all day. Snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.
December 22:
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of it
fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till
August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and
then I had to pee. By the time I got undressed, peed and dressed
again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on
his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. Lying jerk.
December 23:
Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0 degrees. The wife wanted me
to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she nuts!!! Why
didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she's LYING.
December 24:
6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel. Thought I was
having a heart attack. If I ever catch the guy who drives that snowplow, I'll kill him. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour
and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas Carols with her and open our presents, but I was busy watching for the damn snowplow.
December 25:
Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the !=@x<mailto:!=@x>@!! slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. Wow, I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I have to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to kill her AND myself.
December 26:
Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea.
She's really getting on my !@=&! nerves<mailto:!@=&!%20nerves>;.
December 27:
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.
December 28:
Warmed up to above -10. Still snowed in. My wife is driving me
crazy!!!!!
December 29:
10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in.
He's the biggest idiot I know. How dumb does he think I am???
December 30:
Roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me for a million dollars.
The wife went home to her mother. 9" predicted.
December 31:
Set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.
January 8:
I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving
me. Why am I tied to the bed?
Jan 15, 2018 15:19:20 #
Jan 15, 2018 16:40:23 #
I grew up in Southestern Michigan, and every so often we'd get hit by a blizzard. Our house was elevated about 8' from the street and the garage was on that level so the driveway was cut through the hillside. That made it even worse. Snow would just drift deeper than ever on the driveway going up the hill. It took Dad and I forever to clear out that mountain of snow. And then, of course, as the OP said, the snowplow would come along to clear the street, since it was the street the high school was on, and we'd have another 3' of frozen slush on our drive approach. The only time I really minded it was when I was clearing off the top of the drive, which was flat. Once you got up the hill the driveway would flatten out. One night (it was dark) and I was shoveling this part of the driveway and getting the job done, my Dad came out and told me that I was doing it wrong. Now my Dad was a pretty good guy. Everybody who knows him will tell you so. I thought he was the best. But this was one time that he really ticked me off. How in the world do you shovel snow the wrong way? It was a flat surface so I was going line by line and shoveling the snow off the edge leaving a clean surface. What in the world could be wrong about that? I still remember that. It may be the only time that I have no idea what my Dad was thinking. Other than that, how can you fault a man who never yelled at you??
Jan 16, 2018 06:38:19 #
CookieRahll
Loc: Brasher Falls,NY
Industrial size Generator, 1,000 gal. propane tank, buried(that we own),radiant heat flooring, no forced air, no wood burning stove(no wood to haul/cut/stack),1/4 mile driveway that we contracted to plowing. I designed our retirement home with more of what we didn't want rather what we wanted...wheelchair accessible 4' wide hallways, one floor, 8x20 basement for canning/wine suppl and snow mobiles and cross country skis ... thats how you do it in Northern New York....
8" of snow than the next day 59f 1hr later 35f, midnight 4 " of snow next days end 2' of snow...but minus for about 2 weeks...yeah for 20 degrees f!
8" of snow than the next day 59f 1hr later 35f, midnight 4 " of snow next days end 2' of snow...but minus for about 2 weeks...yeah for 20 degrees f!
Jan 16, 2018 06:38:34 #
CookieRahll
Loc: Brasher Falls,NY
Industrial size Generator, 1,000 gal. propane tank, buried(that we own),radiant heat flooring, no forced air, no wood burning stove(no wood to haul/cut/stack),1/4 mile driveway that we contracted to plowing. I designed our retirement home with more of what we didn't want rather what we wanted...wheelchair accessible 4' wide hallways, one floor, 8x20 basement for canning/wine suppl and snow mobiles and cross country skis ... thats how you do it in Northern New York....
8" of snow than the next day 59f 1hr later 35f, midnight 4 " of snow next days end 2' of snow...but minus for about 2 weeks...yeah for 20 degrees f!
8" of snow than the next day 59f 1hr later 35f, midnight 4 " of snow next days end 2' of snow...but minus for about 2 weeks...yeah for 20 degrees f!
Jan 16, 2018 10:00:21 #
I am originally from northwestern Colorado. One winter in the 1980's we had measurable snowfall every day for 48 days in a row, anywhere from 1/2" to 2 feet. I never ended up tied to a bed taking little white pills, but I can empathize!
Jan 16, 2018 20:16:54 #
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