Ponder on these imponderables
Oct 26, 2017 16:02:00 #
1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one? (I like this one a lot!)
12. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.
Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?
13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
14. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered if Chinese mothers use toothpicks?
15. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the post?
16. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
17. No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.
18. Ever wonder about those people who spend two pound a piece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards:
19. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
20. If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea, does that mean that one enjoys it?
21. Why if you send something by road it is called a shipment, but when you send it by sea it is called cargo?
2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one? (I like this one a lot!)
12. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.
Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?
13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
14. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered if Chinese mothers use toothpicks?
15. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the post?
16. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
17. No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.
18. Ever wonder about those people who spend two pound a piece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards:
19. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
20. If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea, does that mean that one enjoys it?
21. Why if you send something by road it is called a shipment, but when you send it by sea it is called cargo?
Oct 26, 2017 16:08:05 #
Oct 26, 2017 16:23:05 #
Oct 26, 2017 16:35:49 #
Oct 26, 2017 17:03:42 #
Oct 26, 2017 18:18:54 #
Oct 26, 2017 19:09:57 #
ala_eh
Loc: SF Bay Area
Had a good laugh. If i may i’d like to add one.
“Why do people drive on the parkway and park on the driveway?”
“Why do people drive on the parkway and park on the driveway?”
Oct 27, 2017 07:54:44 #
Very good. I'll remember these for my bag of jokes.
Adding another, why do we recite at the play, but play at the recital?
Adding another, why do we recite at the play, but play at the recital?
Oct 27, 2017 09:16:40 #
Oct 27, 2017 17:55:53 #
Oct 27, 2017 23:24:16 #
Oct 28, 2017 02:50:30 #
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