A Day in the Diary of a BMW Driver: This was written with driving in the UK in mind but you should get the general idea. The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of...

Mike Hardisty Loc: North Wales

This was written with driving in the UK in mind but you should get the general idea.

The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars. First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road!

I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway! The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn. Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane.

Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110 mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph! Naturally, I got within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way.

Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me! He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.

Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast! Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my driver’s licence to a police station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They're not free points either - they're £20 each and I was only allowed 3.)

But the man at the police station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me!

See, now THAT'S the sort of respect you get when you own and drive a BMW!

pmsc70d Loc: Post Falls, Idaho

Well, that explains a lot!

JohnM Loc: Springfield, Illinois

cute and in our area, and across the land in general I'm sure, we have some sport bike riders with the same mind set. Motorcycles that will run in the 150 mph range right out of the box but sadly the rest of the world has not yet learned how to stay out of the way of such speed, particularly in town so way to many die before they get all those points. :-(

rmalarz Loc: Tempe, Arizona

Mike, I had quite a few chuckles reading this. That is how a lot of BMW drivers are on this side of the pond, as well. Oh, include Mercedes owners, as well. I owned a Z3 at one time and enjoyed the engineering that went into making that vehicle. However, I never approached driving as exemplified in this post. Regardless, it is funny and for the majority of the BMW drivers, accurate.
--Bob

Mike Hardisty wrote:

This was written with driving in the UK in mind but you should get the general idea.

The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars. First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road!

I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway! The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn. Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane.

Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110 mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph! Naturally, I got within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way.

Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me! He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.

Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast! Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my driver’s licence to a police station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They're not free points either - they're £20 each and I was only allowed 3.)

But the man at the police station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me!

See, now THAT'S the sort of respect you get when you own and drive a BMW!

This was written with driving in the UK in mind bu... (show quote)

Mike Hardisty Loc: North Wales

Another joke we have is about the number of BMW's needing a recall, because the indicators don't work

DaveO Loc: Northeast CT

rmalarz wrote:

Mike, I had quite a few chuckles reading this. That is how a lot of BMW drivers are on this side of the pond, as well. Oh, include Mercedes owners, as well. I owned a Z3 at one time and enjoyed the engineering that went into making that vehicle. However, I never approached driving as exemplified in this post. Regardless, it is funny and for the majority of the BMW drivers, accurate.
--Bob

I behave and enjoy my 3.0 Z3.

SteveR Loc: Michigan

Tongue in cheek or not, I still hate those Civics that drive in the BMW lane at Civic lane speed.

Tikva Loc: Waukesha, WI

This was good, funny yet there was some truth in it.

Marionsho Loc: Kansas

Mike Hardisty wrote:

This was written with driving in the UK in mind but you should get the general idea.

The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars. First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road!

I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway! The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn. Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane.

Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110 mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph! Naturally, I got within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way.

Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me! He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.

Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast! Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my driver’s licence to a police station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They're not free points either - they're £20 each and I was only allowed 3.)

But the man at the police station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me!

See, now THAT'S the sort of respect you get when you own and drive a BMW!

This was written with driving in the UK in mind bu... (show quote)

How convenient.

Marionsho Loc: Kansas

JohnM wrote:

cute and in our area, and across the land in general I'm sure, we have some sport bike riders with the same mind set. Motorcycles that will run in the 150 mph range right out of the box but sadly the rest of the world has not yet learned how to stay out of the way of such speed, particularly in town so way to many die before they get all those points. :-(

And some of the organ donors who have never rode a motorcycle in their lives buy the ones that'll do 150.(240+KPH)!

JohnM Loc: Springfield, Illinois

Marionsho wrote:

And some of the organ donors who have never rode a motorcycle in their lives buy the ones that'll do 150.(240+KPH)!

yes

Marionsho Loc: Kansas

JohnM wrote:

yes

And the majority of them MUST think they're top notch riders.
They're the one's that are SURE they don't need a helmet.

WessoJPEG Loc: Cincinnati, Ohio

Mike Hardisty wrote:

This was written with driving in the UK in mind but you should get the general idea.

The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars. First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road!

I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway! The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn. Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane.

Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110 mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph! Naturally, I got within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way.

Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me! He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.

Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast! Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my driver’s licence to a police station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They're not free points either - they're £20 each and I was only allowed 3.)

But the man at the police station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me!

See, now THAT'S the sort of respect you get when you own and drive a BMW!

This was written with driving in the UK in mind bu... (show quote)

See your Lexus Dealer.😂😜

cincykid

I drove Saab's until GM ruined & eventually sold the brand. Switched to BMW's and love them. They don't call it Bavarian "Motor" Works without reason. Left lane hogs (no pun intended) are a problem. You don't have to drive a BMW to be frustrated.

Switching gears-the difference between a porcupine and a BMW driver is that that the pricks are on the outside.

Also despite my "handle" I grew up in Detroit, worked for one of the "big 3" for a while and also drive a Ford Explorer

jerryc41 Loc: Catskill Mts of NY

Mike Hardisty wrote:

This was written with driving in the UK in mind but you should get the general idea.

The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars. First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road!

I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway! The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn. Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane.

Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110 mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph! Naturally, I got within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way.

Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me! He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.

Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast! Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my driver’s licence to a police station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They're not free points either - they're £20 each and I was only allowed 3.)

But the man at the police station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me!

See, now THAT'S the sort of respect you get when you own and drive a BMW!

This was written with driving in the UK in mind bu... (show quote)

I guess BMW drivers are the same the world over. When I see a car coming up behind me, the brand tells me a lot about what I can expect. Those arrogant Germans!