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Southern Cops (your smiley for the day)
Mar 31, 2017 16:32:44   #
silverhawk Loc: Born a West Virginian, Living in Virginia
 
Southern Cops


These are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos:

1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through..."

2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight, because they're new...They'll stretch after you wear them a while..."

3. "If you take your hands off the car,  I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document (My Favorite)..."

4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired..."

5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second...??? Because, that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you (LOVE IT)..."

6. "You don't know how fast you were going...???  I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh...???"

7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help...Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor...???"

8. "Warning...!!! You want a warning...???  O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket..."

9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not... Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog...???"

10. "Fair...??? You want me to be fair..??? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, corn dogs and step in monkey poop..."

11. "Yeah, we have a quota... Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven..."

12. "In GOD We Trust; all others we run through NCIC ( National Crime Information Center )..."

13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had...???"

14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore...We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can..."

15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours... So you know someone who can post your bail..."

AND THE WINNER IS...

16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets...??? You're right, we don't... Sign here..."

Reply
Mar 31, 2017 17:18:06   #
Hal81 Loc: Bucks County, Pa.
 

Reply
Apr 1, 2017 06:34:40   #
richosob Loc: Lambertville, MI
 
silverhawk wrote:
Southern Cops


These are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos:

1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through..."

2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight, because they're new...They'll stretch after you wear them a while..."

3. "If you take your hands off the car,  I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document (My Favorite)..."

4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired..."

5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second...??? Because, that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you (LOVE IT)..."

6. "You don't know how fast you were going...???  I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh...???"

7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help...Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor...???"

8. "Warning...!!! You want a warning...???  O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket..."

9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not... Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog...???"

10. "Fair...??? You want me to be fair..??? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, corn dogs and step in monkey poop..."

11. "Yeah, we have a quota... Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven..."

12. "In GOD We Trust; all others we run through NCIC ( National Crime Information Center )..."

13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had...???"

14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore...We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can..."

15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours... So you know someone who can post your bail..."

AND THE WINNER IS...

16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets...??? You're right, we don't... Sign here..."
Southern Cops br br br These are actual comments... (show quote)


LMAO

Reply
 
 
Apr 1, 2017 06:49:43   #
jerryc41 Loc: Catskill Mts of NY
 
silverhawk wrote:
Southern Cops


These are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos:

1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through..."

2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight, because they're new...They'll stretch after you wear them a while..."

3. "If you take your hands off the car,  I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document (My Favorite)..."

4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired..."

5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second...??? Because, that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you (LOVE IT)..."

6. "You don't know how fast you were going...???  I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh...???"

7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help...Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor...???"

8. "Warning...!!! You want a warning...???  O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket..."

9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not... Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog...???"

10. "Fair...??? You want me to be fair..??? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, corn dogs and step in monkey poop..."

11. "Yeah, we have a quota... Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven..."

12. "In GOD We Trust; all others we run through NCIC ( National Crime Information Center )..."

13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had...???"

14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore...We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can..."

15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours... So you know someone who can post your bail..."

AND THE WINNER IS...

16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets...??? You're right, we don't... Sign here..."
Southern Cops br br br These are actual comments... (show quote)


#9 - "No."

Reply
Apr 1, 2017 08:43:00   #
davidwallen
 
Outstanding! I think #3 is my favorite -- can already think of several potential opportunities who
Ere that can/ will be interjected Thanks

Reply
Apr 1, 2017 10:53:07   #
Jolly Roger Loc: Dorset. UK
 
Very funny.

Reply
Apr 3, 2017 13:04:07   #
DickC Loc: NE Washington state
 

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