dancers Loc: melbourne.victoria, australia

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food and companionship
She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas .

3. I take my wife everywhere....
but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric
toaster and electric bread maker.
She said 'There are too many gadgets, and no place
to sit down!' So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well
because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was. She told me, 'In the lake.'

8. She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, 'Am I too late
for the garbage?' The driver said, 'No, jump in!'

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
first name was Always.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months
I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked, 'What's on the TV?'
I said, 'Dust!'

Can't you just hear him say all of these?
I love it........these were the good old days
when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun.
And he always ended his programs with the words, 'God Bless.

luvmypets Loc: Born & raised Texan living in Fayetteville NC

I loved watching him as a kid and like to go to Youtube and watch some of the videos there. Bob Hope was another favorite of mine.

Leicaflex Loc: Cymru

dancers Loc: melbourne.victoria, australia

shows our ages eh?

Charmdragon Loc: Plymouth, Massachusetts

You can't just laugh with these, you feel it in the heart as well. Absolutely my favorite. As a kid I waited for his show 'cause I loved watching him crack up laughing at the jokes. Live! This put a smile on my face. Great share.

richosob Loc: Lambertville, MI

I loved watching Red Skelton on television. There are few comedians left in Hollywood and they don't seem to be able to get a laugh without using all the curse words. It took talent to make people laugh and Red had plenty of it.

Rich

sb Loc: Florida's East Coast

jerryc41 Loc: Catskill Mts of NY

dodgerm37 Loc: N.E. Ohio

About thirty-five years ago he played our county fair. During the six days of the fair only two shows were sold out, both his. The first show ran over about half an hour. When he walked on stage for the second show he asked the audience to forgive for making them wait so long. The second show ran an hour and a half longer than normal. He was on stage by himself. What a performer.

windshoppe Loc: Arizona

Yeah, they don't make 'em (comedians) like that any more!

royden Loc: Decatur, GA

Yes, Red was the man. God Bless.

jaymatt Loc: Alexandria, Indiana

He was one of the best.

StevenG Loc: Long Island, NY

Can definitely hear him! He always laughed at his own jokes, and pulled it off beautifully. Thanks for the memories.

Leon S Loc: Minnesota

I grew up with Red Skelton and his humor. He was a remarkable man. He actually made more money with his art than on stage. Red Skelton considered himself a clown not a comedian. Comedians drew laughter mostly from insults. Red reflected life. After reading the 13 jokes you attributed to him, I don't recognize his style in any of them. However I did recognize a few of them as being material that Rodney Dangerfield actually used. The others were of Rodney's style. Is it possible you are confusing the two.

Past Pro Loc: Spring Hill, Florida

I think you may be correct.