Little Johnny
Dec 13, 2016 23:55:37 #
LITTLE JOHNNY IS BACK:
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.
Swede
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.
SwedeDec 14, 2016 01:15:44 #
Dec 14, 2016 06:07:01 #
Dec 14, 2016 08:49:44 #
Dec 14, 2016 10:14:47 #
Dec 14, 2016 11:40:37 #
Still funny, but I heard it first when I was a teenager. Back then it was Little Johnny's sister.
Dec 14, 2016 14:59:11 #
Dec 14, 2016 20:56:04 #
A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked,
"Johnny, what is your problem?"
Johnny answered, "I'm too smart for the first grade. My sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade too!"
The teacher had had enough. She took Johnny to the principal's office. While Johnny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first grade and behave. The teacher agreed. Johnny was brought in and the conditions are explained to him and he agrees to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Johnny: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Johnny: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third grader should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her,
"I think Johnny can go to the third grade."
The teacher says to the principal,
"Let me ask him some questions?"
The principal and Johnny both agree. The teacher asks,
"What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Johnny, after a moment,
"Legs."
Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not?"
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer,
Johnny replied, "Pockets."
Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Johnny: "Pants"
Teacher: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K',
It means a lot of excitement?"
Johnny: "Firetruck!"
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher,
"Put Johnny in the fifth grade,
I missed the last four questions myself."
"Johnny, what is your problem?"
Johnny answered, "I'm too smart for the first grade. My sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade too!"
The teacher had had enough. She took Johnny to the principal's office. While Johnny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first grade and behave. The teacher agreed. Johnny was brought in and the conditions are explained to him and he agrees to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Johnny: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Johnny: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third grader should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her,
"I think Johnny can go to the third grade."
The teacher says to the principal,
"Let me ask him some questions?"
The principal and Johnny both agree. The teacher asks,
"What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Johnny, after a moment,
"Legs."
Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not?"
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer,
Johnny replied, "Pockets."
Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Johnny: "Pants"
Teacher: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K',
It means a lot of excitement?"
Johnny: "Firetruck!"
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher,
"Put Johnny in the fifth grade,
I missed the last four questions myself."
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