silverhawk Loc: Born a West Virginian, Living in Virginia

Of course, I received this from an email friend.......lol!!


2016 DARWIN AWARDS



You've been waiting for them with baited breath, so without further ado, here are the 2016 Darwin Awards:  bear in mind they all vote & probably have kids!
 
Eighth Place
 
In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.
 
Seventh Place
 
A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran", accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.
 
Sixth Place
 
While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8-foot hole for protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom, when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.
 
Fifth Place
 
Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.
 
Fourth Place
 
Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
 
Third Place
 
After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing at the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol.
 
The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers also drew their guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt.
 
HONORABLE MENTION
 
Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 A.M. so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice that the window was closed.
 
RUNNER UP
 
Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more excited, and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge, they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. They secured one end around Bingham's leg and then tied the other to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never located.
 
AND THE WINNER IS....
 
Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt ( Paderborn, Germany ) fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded.
 
The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves... 'Shit happens'
 
IT ALWAYS SEEMS IMPORTANT TO THANK THESE PEOPLE FOR REMOVING THEMSELVES FROM THE GENE POOL

Dngallagher Loc: Wilmington De.

Ol' Frank Loc: Orlando,

These are great. I especially liked the burglar with the flashlight in his mouth.. The gene pool is a little better off.

davefales Loc: Virginia

We weren't all meant to survive.

Earworms Loc: Sacramento, California

Moral of the story: Never stand behind and elephants behind!

richosob Loc: Lambertville, MI

👍👍👍

ardenweiss Loc: Maryland

Good as the pics that show why women live longer than men...

whitewolfowner

There are a few good things here;' most were young, so if they did vote, it was only for a few years and hopefully they did not breed because you know the old saying: "You can't fix stupid" and the world has just too much of that now.

MTG44 Loc: Corryton, Tennessee

Those awards are always good a laugh.

sb Loc: Florida's East Coast

I went to a lecture by the Orlando medical examiner about the finer points of filling out a death certificate. It was a delightful talk. She discussed the often lethal combination of testosterone and alcohol and the amazing ways that she had seen it manifested in her career, and pointed out that sadly, we cannot put "stupid" as the cause of death....

whitewolfowner

She may not be able to list stupid as the cause but it can be listed as the catalyst.

Wellhiem Loc: Sunny England.

Sometimes the gene pool needs a little chlorine.

nimbushopper Loc: Tampa, FL

Incredible! Stupid is as stupid does.

Wilderness Images Loc: Apache Junction, AZ.

Third place wins in my books. Who, in their right mind, would attempt to rob a gunstore during business hours???

whitewolfowner

Been attempted and been successful many times but the robber has to have some experience. To start out to make a living, the first thing you do is highjack a plane to Cuba. (The older folks will get this one). Second, you steal a candy bar and slowly work your experiences up from there. Robbing a gun store, would definitely not be on the top of the list of starter jobs. Notice that the customer base of the gun store was not that swift, only about half of all the shots they fired, hit; no wonder they all had to unload their guns; so the whole area was not housing the brightest tools in the shed. Just the fact that everyone did that shows a large abundance of ignorance too. Stupid is as stupid does, to quote someone above; also; "you can't fix stupid".