Follow up on Mark's Laws of the Universe...
Aug 11, 2016 13:01:09 #
jaycoffman
Loc: San Diego
Sorry, but once you get started... As I was filing the Laws of the Universe I came across these rules for how to tell it's going to be a bad day.
How You Can tell When It’s Going to Be A Rotten Day
You wake up face down on the pavement.
You put your bra on backward and it fits better.
You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.
You see a “60 Minutes” news team waiting in your office.
Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
Your son tells you he wishes Anita Bryant would mind her own business.
You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party and there aren’t any.
You turn on the news and they’re showing emergency routes out of the city.
Your twin sister forgot your birthday.
You wake up and discover your waterbed broke and then realize that you don’t have a waterbed.
Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell’s Angels on the freeway.
Your wife wakes up feeling amorous and you have a headache.
Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat.
The bird signing outside your window is a buzzard.
You wake up and your braces are locked together.
Your walk to work and find your dress is stuck in the back of your pantyhose.
You call your answering service and they tell you it’s none of your business.
Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife.
Your income tax check bounces.
You put both contact lenses in the same eye.
Your pet rock snaps at you.
Your wife says,”Good morning, Bill” and your name is George.
How You Can tell When It’s Going to Be A Rotten Day
You wake up face down on the pavement.
You put your bra on backward and it fits better.
You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.
You see a “60 Minutes” news team waiting in your office.
Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
Your son tells you he wishes Anita Bryant would mind her own business.
You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party and there aren’t any.
You turn on the news and they’re showing emergency routes out of the city.
Your twin sister forgot your birthday.
You wake up and discover your waterbed broke and then realize that you don’t have a waterbed.
Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell’s Angels on the freeway.
Your wife wakes up feeling amorous and you have a headache.
Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat.
The bird signing outside your window is a buzzard.
You wake up and your braces are locked together.
Your walk to work and find your dress is stuck in the back of your pantyhose.
You call your answering service and they tell you it’s none of your business.
Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife.
Your income tax check bounces.
You put both contact lenses in the same eye.
Your pet rock snaps at you.
Your wife says,”Good morning, Bill” and your name is George.
Aug 11, 2016 13:24:35 #
Anita Bryant? Pet Rock? Waterbed? Pantyhose? Answering Service? What's all that? How old is this stuff?
Aug 11, 2016 13:38:14 #
jaycoffman
Loc: San Diego
DWU2 wrote:
Anita Bryant? Pet Rock? Waterbed? Pantyhose? Answering Service? What's all that? How old is this stuff?
Obviously it's pretty old--as am I...
Aug 12, 2016 07:34:51 #
Aug 12, 2016 08:21:21 #
Aug 12, 2016 10:20:30 #
Aug 12, 2016 10:26:33 #
Aug 12, 2016 10:37:16 #
Aug 12, 2016 10:50:32 #
DWU2 wrote:
Anita Bryant? Pet Rock? Waterbed? Pantyhose? Answering Service? What's all that? How old is this stuff?
None of them existed when I was a kid, so where did all this modern stuff cone from.
Aug 12, 2016 11:02:23 #
It doesn't matter where they came from John, it's a JOKE, just like Murphy's Law.
John_F wrote:
None of them existed when I was a kid, so where did all this modern stuff cone from.
Aug 12, 2016 13:35:46 #
Aug 20, 2016 03:20:24 #
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