rmorrison1116 Loc: Near Valley Forge, Pennsylvania

Anyone here in the army reserves or has been in the reserves in recent past? I've got a question. A little background; my daughter is married to a reservist. Sometimes I get the feeling he's not being truthful about his reservist activities. All to often he will go away for the weekend and two weeks later, do it again. I once counter in a 3 month period where he was away for the reserve weekend 5 times. When she asked him why so often he told her it's once a month but it may be two weekends in a row if it's a different month. Then the other day he comes home from work and announces he's been deployed to Afghanistan in a year.

Do reserve weekends happen that often? I would think that once a month would be at least four weeks apart. That's how it was when my brother was in the Navy reserves.
Would the army actually schedule a reservists deployment to a place like afganistan, one year in advance, especially since he already did a tour there when in regular army and with US military activities winding down, would they still be sending reservists at all?

It's not that I don't trust him, well, that's exactly what it is.

PixelStan77 Loc: Vermont/Chicago

Just call the reserve center and ask them about frequency of meetings for the straight scoop. When I was in the reserves(Army) it was one weekend a month and 2 weeks in the summer.

OviedoPhotos

I was in the AF reserve for a number of years. There was a four month period where we met twice a month, but it was upfront and clearly stated six months prior.

ncribble Loc: Albuquerque, NM

I, too, was in the Reserves after completion of Active Duty in the AF. But I suggest this is your Daughters business, and not yours.

Norm

JCam Loc: MD Eastern Shore

rmorrisson1116,

If you don't trust your Son-in-Law, you have a problem so TALK TO HIM, and/or ask the question at any Army recruiting office, but it's not really your problem; it's your daughter's. I'd suggest YOU stay out of it! She's a big girl now; presumably, you "gave her away" and now sound like the parent who won't "cut the apron strings".

If your daughter doesn't trust him, she should talk to him about his Reserve time, but I'd suggest that shortly, if you keep butting in, the three of you will all have a Major problem!

When I was in the Reserves, the requirement was one evening a month and a two week summer camp; occasionally the week day changed if the scheduled day was changed for inclement weather, Holiday or some other reason. Shortly after I got out, it became a weekend a month and two week camp, but that was 50+ years ago, and there have been a lot of changes since then.

And YES, reservists are still going to Afghanistan, we still have 9,000+ troops there, and they need to be rotated home so someone has to replace them, and thanks to O'bama, we don't have enough Regular Army troops, or enough for any of the others services.

sarge69 Loc: Ft Myers, FL

Does he get a 'pay check' ? Look at that

Sarge69

rmorrison1116 Loc: Near Valley Forge, Pennsylvania

For those who advise I stay out of it, I do. I do not get involved in their relationship or their problems, but, there are two small grand daughters in the equation and a mortgage they can barely afford. My daughter is still going to school to earn a BS in nursing, her husband is an alcoholic who doesn't believe he has a problem and will soon be going to court for a couple DUI's, one that resulted in a totaled vehicle, and he doesn't always tell her the truth about things he should. He hasn't even told his parents about the DUI's yet. When he's away, my daughter and her daughters spend a lot of time at my house. He seems to be away an awful lot and I'm curious why his wife needs to spend so much time at my house. If something happens where he can no longer make his mortgage payments, guess where my daughter and her little girls will be living. I love my daughter and my grand daughters and I will do what I have to do to protect them. I expect the same from her husband. If he is not being truthful about his Army responsibilities then his wife has the right to know. What she does with this knowledge is her business but for now, she'd much rather pretend all is well and unfortunately, that is not the case.

rmorrison1116 Loc: Near Valley Forge, Pennsylvania

When my daughters business begins to effect my life then it becomes my business. I have no intention of intervening in their relationship. My only interest is the protection of my daughter and her daughters.

jerryc41 Loc: Catskill Mts of NY

It sounds like a bad situation that will not get better. It's good your daughter has you as a backstop. She'd better start planning for a different future.

Dannj

My military experience tells me the reserve schedule you describe is possible. My fatherly experience tells me you may have other susipicions as well.
How's your relationship with him otherwise? I'm comfortable enough with my son-in-law to say to him: "Your reserve schedule seems a little strange, how does that work?"

ole sarg Loc: south florida

You don't know what you are talking about. The President does not determine force structure!

Determining Force Requirements

The Army relies on an analytic process to determine its total force needs. Using a method called the Total Army Analysis (TAA), the Army reviews its force-structure requirements every two years. The TAA method begins with the number of combat forces that DoD has decided will provide the military capability necessary to carry out U.S. national security strategy.

Regarding the question about reserve meetings. Just look at the pay each month. You meet you get paid!

GreenReaper

I was in the AFRes. The requirements at the time was 39 days a year. We drilled for four "periods" a month, that is Saturday and Sunday. Then there was the two weeks we spent off site. Now things do change, I quite often did a SUTA (Split Unit Training Assembly) when I was in the SCANG (South Carolina Air National Guard). There were times I had to even split up my two week training time, however I usually spent the time on site, and there were a couple of times we had an extended weekend off site for specialized training.

I do agree that there is most likely a real problem, especially since he is an alcoholic and having to appear in court for DUI.

Hope things work out.

jeep_daddy Loc: Prescott AZ

I don't know how he'd pull that off since the money isn't going into his bank account. If he asks his daughter to show him their deposits that would really be butting in. But if his daughter mentions some suspicions to the father, he might suggest that she look at their deposits, and ask her husband how much he gets paid for each weekend on duty.

Latsok Loc: Recently moved to Washington State.

Do you really buy that the prez has nothing to do with force structure? In that case, I've got a bridge I want to sell you. Of course he determines it, albeit through his appointed SecDef, and via the politically selected military leaders. The deployed force structure is determined by political decisions and Administration propaganda, not by what the in-theater troops require to complete the job.
And yes---- reservists do deploy both to Afghanistan as well as the Sand Box in the Middle East.

tbohon Loc: Olympia, WA USA

Not totally familiar with Reserve status but I know some folks who are and I'll ask them this morning. As a father, grandfather and great grandfather I'm with you ... we sometimes need to protect our kids even though they're married and have children of their own. I'd say go with your gut instinct and do some research then give your daughter the information you've uncovered and let her do with it as she will. If she's in denial and trying to keep the family together 'for the children' she needs to know that sometimes that isn't a worthwhile goal ... the kids know far more than we think they do when parents are having difficulties.