FrumCA

Subject: Fwd: Laws of the world as we know it.

1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.
3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal - and someone always answers.
6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!
10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
11. Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.
16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking -- A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET!!!
18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it, OR the store will stop selling it!!
19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.

If you don't forward this to your friends within the next 5 minutes your belly button will unscrew - and your butt will fall off.
Really....It's true

flathead27ford Loc: Colorado, North of Greeley

All of them are soooo true. Except your last remark of course. ;-) Cheers. My butt is still on.

boberic Loc: Quiet Corner, Connecticut. Ex long Islander

You left out a couple parkinson's law-- work expands to fill the time alloted. And -The Peter principal-- people rise to the level of their incompetence.

FrumCA

:thumbup: :thumbup:

FrumCA

:thumbup: :thumbup:

EX-TELCO Loc: Belen,New Mexico

I really miss #5.

jaymatt Loc: Alexandria, Indiana

:-D :-D :thumbup:

FrumCA

Good catch!! Me too...

Fayle Loc: Seward, Alaska and Rionegro, Colombia

#5 The sum of the intelligence on the planet is constant.
The population is rising.

boberic Loc: Quiet Corner, Connecticut. Ex long Islander

My Law--the average human has the intelligence of a pound cake.

Bunko.T Loc: Western Australia.

#20. If I fell into a drum of nipples, I'd come up sucking my thumb.

waywest Loc: las vegas

all true. where's the law about all supermarket lines moving quicker than the one you just picked?

oregon don

that was the missing #5

Floyd Loc: Misplaced Texan in Florence, Alabama

O'Bannon's Law: Murphy's Law is conservative.

kmcclimon

Actually, that was covered in number 6....and is totally true.