European Standard Language is coming!
Jan 19, 2016 05:15:26 #
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
Jan 19, 2016 05:38:15 #
Jan 19, 2016 06:37:49 #
Jan 19, 2016 08:19:06 #
mullumby wrote:
The European Commission has just announced .
I was just on a BIG project for 2015 that was based in Germany. Just sent this to the project lead. Funny!!!!
Jan 19, 2016 09:03:44 #
Jan 19, 2016 13:02:45 #
mullumby wrote:
The European Commission has just announced an agre... (show quote)
It has always been English!
Jan 19, 2016 14:06:57 #
Jan 19, 2016 14:37:29 #
Did they forget Arabic, seems to be growing by leaps and bounds.
Charles "The Hammer" Martel must be spinning in his grave.
Charles "The Hammer" Martel must be spinning in his grave.
Jan 20, 2016 06:00:10 #
COLANN
Loc: Pahiatua Tararua New Zealand
Absolute Brilliant, who ever came up with that, is a Gem.
As a Pom living in Australia, I really love it, mind you, what will the spell checker do on the net???
As a Pom living in Australia, I really love it, mind you, what will the spell checker do on the net???
Jan 20, 2016 07:48:55 #
Jan 20, 2016 07:49:01 #
Good one. :thumbup:
Language changes naturally over time, without deliberate human intervention. As the French have learned, you can't control how people want to speak.
Language changes naturally over time, without deliberate human intervention. As the French have learned, you can't control how people want to speak.
Jan 20, 2016 08:55:33 #
Jan 20, 2016 10:11:23 #
OldEarl
Loc: Northeast Kansas
mullumby wrote:
The European Commission has just announced an agre... (show quote)
English and altDeutsch (German) both evolved from Norse. Evolution may eventually make them both Esperanto. 8-)
Jan 20, 2016 11:36:12 #
And in the 6th year it can be agreed that all letters between "a" and "z" can be replaced by them. So we have aaaazzaazza. zzazzaaaz
Jan 20, 2016 22:28:02 #
gmw12 wrote:
Can't wait for it.
That should be "Kan't wait for it". Corry gmw12, I hope you don't mind but I had to korrect that for you.
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