Backhanded Compliment?
Jan 2, 2016 17:04:09 #
This isn't really a question - more of an observation. Now that I have gotten to be "older," I notice other older people more. Very often, I will see a lovely older woman and I think to myself, "She must have been gorgeous when she was young." Unfortunately, that's not the type of thing an older woman wants to hear, even though her present good looks hint at her former glory. So, I just keep my thoughts to myself and smile inside.
Jan 2, 2016 17:09:31 #
jerryc41 wrote:
This isn't really a question - more of an observation. Now that I have gotten to be "older," I notice other older people more. Very often, I will see a lovely older woman and I think to myself, "She must have been gorgeous when she was young." Unfortunately, that's not the type of thing an older woman wants to hear, even though her present good looks hint at her former glory. So, I just keep my thoughts to myself and smile inside.
Guess its a good job you do keep your thoughts to yourself jerry, otherwise I may not need to type this :lol: :lol:
Jan 2, 2016 17:15:00 #
jerryc41 wrote:
This isn't really a question - more of an observation. Now that I have gotten to be "older," I notice other older people more. Very often, I will see a lovely older woman and I think to myself, "She must have been gorgeous when she was young." Unfortunately, that's not the type of thing an older woman wants to hear, even though her present good looks hint at her former glory. So, I just keep my thoughts to myself and smile inside.
Definitely keep that to yourself.
That would be like someone telling you "you take great pictures you must have a real good camera". They mean it as a compliment but most photographers are not thrilled with it.
If you want to say something in the situation you describe when not simply complement her on her present beauty without any reference to age or former glory?
Jan 2, 2016 17:26:42 #
Jan 2, 2016 17:27:23 #
jerryc41 wrote:
... So, I just keep my thoughts to myself and smile inside.
Complimenting a stranger can be tricky thing as they decide how to receive it. If I may steal a minute of your thunder I have a story to share.
When I was in the Air Force we had a big meeting, everyone from the top down was there, and as happened a sergeant that had been on vacation had returned. As she approached our group, our boss, a big man, six foot tall and full of muscles, looked at her and said, "You look great, did you lose some weight?"
The room went still and she, this woman of five something feet, stepped toe-to-toe with him and said, "What?" You could hear a pin drop and visibly see him panic.
While everyone's holding their breath she steps back, laughs and says, "Thank You!"
She knew what she was doing and we all laughed, but I learned then that it can be interesting complimenting a woman, especially a stranger.
On the other hand, I wonder if you would have made her day had you said something to her? It's all about how you say it!
Happy New Year! S-
Jan 2, 2016 17:31:48 #
Yes, compliments, and questions, can be tricky, as many people have discovered. "Oh, I'm so glad you were finally able to get pregnant." "Oh, I'm sorry. It's just you look like you're ready to deliver."
Jan 2, 2016 17:33:23 #
jerryc41 wrote:
Yes, compliments, and questions, can be tricky, as many people have discovered. "Oh, I'm so glad you were finally able to get pregnant." "Oh, I'm sorry. It's just you look like you're ready to deliver."
Never, Never, Never, unless someone says it first and you absolutely know. NEVER! S-
Jan 2, 2016 17:38:12 #
Jerry maybe you should backhand yourself on the backside of your head !!!
Jan 2, 2016 18:01:24 #
jerryc41 wrote:
This isn't really a question - more of an observation. Now that I have gotten to be "older," I notice other older people more. Very often, I will see a lovely older woman and I think to myself, "She must have been gorgeous when she was young." Unfortunately, that's not the type of thing an older woman wants to hear, even though her present good looks hint at her former glory. So, I just keep my thoughts to myself and smile inside.
You've gotten wise in your "old age" Jerry.
I can not count all the times I've had "foot in mouth" disease over the years. Another point to remember is to be very careful of complements on anything "new", as it may well condemn you on the inference of what was before was not to your liking. :thumbup:
Jan 2, 2016 18:05:06 #
My husband once asked a flight attendant if she was the most senior flight attendant in the airline....did NOT end well for him...LOL
Jan 2, 2016 18:12:54 #
Yea Jerry, think it is best to keep your mouth shut. That way you still have your teeth.
Don
Don
Jan 2, 2016 18:17:13 #
Jan 2, 2016 18:22:27 #
_________,(fill in the blank) can't live with them, and you can't shoot them.
:D
:D
Jan 2, 2016 18:28:07 #
jerryc41 wrote:
This isn't really a question - more of an observation. Now that I have gotten to be "older," I notice other older people more. Very often, I will see a lovely older woman and I think to myself, "She must have been gorgeous when she was young." Unfortunately, that's not the type of thing an older woman wants to hear, even though her present good looks hint at her former glory. So, I just keep my thoughts to myself and smile inside.
Smart man :) :) :) :lol:
Jan 2, 2016 18:34:51 #
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