A fleeting glimpse - Haiga: Posting this because I would like to get better in this arena. You guys are the best teachers I know. I'm posting from my iPad so the resolution may not be...

wowbmw Loc: Grant, Colorado

Posting this because I would like to get better in this arena. You guys are the best teachers I know. I'm posting from my iPad so the resolution may not be up to par.

Frank2013 Loc: San Antonio, TX. & Milwaukee, WI.

wowbmw wrote:

Posting this because I would like to get better in this arena. You guys are the best teachers I know. I'm posting from my iPad so the resolution may not be up to par.

As for haiku Ill leave it to Dave. The whole composition seems crowding the left, with out down load checked I can make no more comment other than it appears to be well done.

jenny Loc: in hiding:)

Good effort Wowbmw..While I wish the flower could have been placed to the right of center, the Haiku is very complementary. Also leaving it to Dave to comment on that part, as I am not in the least qualified to comment on that part of the total Haiga, can only say it appeals to me very much and therefore in my opinion it seems excellent
:)

Uuglypher Loc: South Dakota (East River)

wowbmw wrote:

Posting this because I would like to get better in this arena. You guys are the best teachers I know. I'm posting from my iPad so the resolution may not be up to par.

Hi, wowbmw,
Well, as a first effort, or as the result of much practice, IMO that's simply a lovely haiga.

The relatively large amount of dark BG may be seen by some as excessive, but, in the spirit and intent of your haiku, it seems appropriate to me. I feel as though I can relate well to your intent... "I hadn't seen it that way before...but I know what you mean!" Which is exactly the sort of reaction one seeks with haiku and haiga.

You caught the moment and expressed it well.
Good job!

And, even posting from iPad, it helps to post the "download".

Dave

Linda From Maine Loc: Yakima, Washington

Love the light in the image, enjoyed the poem very much. A slightly different crop or placement of the haiku might be more appealing for balance, but I'd be very proud of this one!

Uuglypher Loc: South Dakota (East River)

hi, Linda,
I'm curious, when it comes to placement of the poem in various Haiga, do you feel that the three-line format is important to maintain? I've been involved with haiku for years, and still am of several minds on the matter. And , of course, there are haiku gurus of many different, strongly held opinions!

Dave

Linda From Maine Loc: Yakima, Washington

Uuglypher wrote:

hi, Linda,
I'm curious, when it comes to placement of the poem in various Haiga, do you feel that the three-line format is important to maintain? I've been involved with haiku for years, and still am of several minds on the matter. And , of course, there are haiku gurus of many different, strongly held opinions!

Dave

I hadn't considered that consciously. For this image, it seems like the weight of the poem and the flower are on the left side. But makes sense that if we like odd numbers of "things," it'd hold true for lines of haiga. I'll be more observant next time and let you know :)

wowbmw Loc: Grant, Colorado

Frank2013 wrote:

As for haiku Ill leave it to Dave. The whole composition seems crowding the left, with out down load checked I can make no more comment other than it appears to be well done.

Thank you for weighing in. Next time I'll check download! Yes, it does weigh heavy to the left. That was me wanting to emphasize the sun moving along. I tried different crops and verse placement. This is an interesting exercise because the combining of the two elements seems to affect the more traditional composition of the image alone. At least that was true for my eye in this Haiga. Lots to learn.

wowbmw Loc: Grant, Colorado

jenny wrote:

Good effort Wowbmw..While I wish the flower could have been placed to the right of center, the Haiku is very complementary. Also leaving it to Dave to comment on that part, as I am not in the least qualified to comment on that part of the total Haiga, can only say it appeals to me very much and therefore in my opinion it seems excellent
:)

Your comments are very important to me and all of us learning to expand our vistas. It is the overall feeling one is left with that means the most to the artist in me. Thank you!

wowbmw Loc: Grant, Colorado

Linda From Maine wrote:

Love the light in the image, enjoyed the poem very much. A slightly different crop or placement of the haiku might be more appealing for balance, but I'd be very proud of this one!

Sometimes I wish I was not so critical of my own work but like many of us creatives, it comes with the territory. So appreciate your take on this piece!

JennT Loc: South Central PA

The image/poster---will be improved with a compositional crop---There is too much space letting ones eyes wander here and there!

wowbmw Loc: Grant, Colorado

You know what Dave, I am discovering that the practice of Haiga is very intense both for the creator and the viewer. We all have an opportunity to rethink how we see. Yes, the piece did not set week with me when I cropped for the image alone. Once the whole felt right, I went for it. Thank you teacher!

I was wondering if this new to me form had a p,ace for humor. I am working on a piece that seems perfect for such a treatment.

Uuglypher wrote:

Hi, wowbmw, br Well, as a first effort, or as the ... (show quote)

wowbmw Loc: Grant, Colorado

JennT wrote:

The image/poster---will be improved with a compositional crop---There is too much space letting ones eyes wander here and there!

This seems to be the consensus. Think I'll take baby steps in future compositions instead of radically changing how the trained eye sees. Thank you for looking.