A grey hair fable
Nov 26, 2015 16:59:11 #
At the root of every grey hair, there is a dead brain cell.
Someone had to remind me, So I'm reminding you, too. Don't laugh.... It is all true!
Perks of reaching 50 Or being over 60 And heading towards 70 or beyond!
1. Kidnappers are not very Interested in you
2. In a hostage situation,you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run -- anywhere
4. People call at 9 PM (or 9 AM) and ask, 'Did I wake you?'
5. People no longer view you as a Hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat Supper at 4 PM.
9..You can live without sex But not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
13. You sing along With elevator music.
14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
15. Your investment in health insurance Is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends Because they can't remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
19. You can't remember who sent you this list.
And you notice these are all In big print For your convenience.
Forward this to everyone You can remember Right now!
AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING:
Never, NEVER, NEVER , Under any circumstances, Take a sleeping pill, and a laxative on the same night!
Someone had to remind me, So I'm reminding you, too. Don't laugh.... It is all true!
Perks of reaching 50 Or being over 60 And heading towards 70 or beyond!
1. Kidnappers are not very Interested in you
2. In a hostage situation,you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run -- anywhere
4. People call at 9 PM (or 9 AM) and ask, 'Did I wake you?'
5. People no longer view you as a Hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat Supper at 4 PM.
9..You can live without sex But not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
13. You sing along With elevator music.
14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
15. Your investment in health insurance Is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends Because they can't remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
19. You can't remember who sent you this list.
And you notice these are all In big print For your convenience.
Forward this to everyone You can remember Right now!
AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING:
Never, NEVER, NEVER , Under any circumstances, Take a sleeping pill, and a laxative on the same night!
Nov 26, 2015 17:26:56 #
Three old guys are talking over morning coffee. First one says -- "getting old, I can hardly pee in the morning, and then it takes forever." Second one says, "Yeah, and my morning bowl movement -- talk about hard." Third guy says "Six in the morning, I pee like a racehorse, six thirty I take a huge dump." The other two look at him -- "What's wrong with that?" He says, "I don't wake up till seven!"
Nov 26, 2015 18:22:34 #
Nov 26, 2015 18:25:08 #
quixdraw wrote:
Three old guys are talking over morning coffee. First one says -- "getting old, I can hardly pee in the morning, and then it takes forever." Second one says, "Yeah, and my morning bowl movement -- talk about hard." Third guy says "Six in the morning, I pee like a racehorse, six thirty I take a huge dump." The other two look at him -- "What's wrong with that?" He says, "I don't wake up till seven!"
:thumbup: :thumbup: I don't wake up until 7:30 after two + good moovements, man am I screwed up. No wonder the maid in the rest home hates me.
Nov 26, 2015 18:36:33 #
Nov 26, 2015 19:51:53 #
cbothwell wrote:
living longer (old age) ain't all it's cracked up to be! :-)
:thumbup: :thumbup: Caution--Living is hazardous to your health. :lol: :lol:
Nov 26, 2015 20:04:26 #
cbothwell wrote:
living longer (old age) ain't all it's cracked up to be! :-)
From my experience it's much better than the alternative!!
Nov 26, 2015 20:10:42 #
GeorgeH wrote:
From my experience it's much better than the alternative!!
I am hoping your not talking from first hand experience George. Have a Happy Thanksgiving evening. :lol: :lol:
Nov 27, 2015 00:08:35 #
That would make George a zombie, and we all know they don't exist. (google zombie apocalypse). I agree the alternative is plan B.
bodacious wrote:
I am hoping your not talking from first hand experience George. Have a Happy Thanksgiving evening. :lol: :lol:
Nov 27, 2015 01:29:28 #
cbothwell wrote:
That would make George a zombie, and we all know they don't exist. (google zombie apocalypse). I agree the alternative is plan B.
I was thinking more on the lines of a ghost than a zombie but we all know a ghost can type, at least I hope they cant.
Nov 27, 2015 10:31:29 #
Nov 27, 2015 10:47:30 #
Nov 27, 2015 11:32:41 #
quixdraw wrote:
No one gets out alive, best we can do is try for a graceful exit.
Freud... The goal of LIFE::::::: death
Nov 27, 2015 13:23:11 #
bodacious wrote:
:thumbup: :thumbup: Caution--Living is hazardous to your health. :lol: :lol:
You can die from it :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:
Nov 27, 2015 13:24:39 #
GeorgeH wrote:
From my experience it's much better than the alternative!!
The alternative might not be so bad if it wasn't for so long. :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:
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