Uuglypher Loc: South Dakota (East River)

Which haiku version do you prefer to accompany this image as a haiga?

...and feel free...please...to offer one or more alternate haiku.

Dave

Three-in-one: preference?

(Download)

MattPhox Loc: Rhode Island

I like version 1.

Chuck_893 Loc: Lincoln, Nebraska, USA

I also vote for 1. I like the clean simplicity. :)

minniev Loc: MIssissippi

They are all pretty wonderful. The simplest (#1) seems the strongest but the others are nice too. What a fascinating endeavor! I still hope to spend more time studying what you've shared when I get settled down a bit late next week.

jenny Loc: in hiding:)

Oh, this is like a game I don't have time to play this morning but you tempt me. While I really like the 1st version, it doesn't fit the form of the "schoolbook" pattern that defined Haiku for me. Since you have generously invited other efforts, I have tried to modify your own words a bit:
Sandstorm passing now
Monuments sculpted anew
Freshly abraded

It would be so nice to write something about the LIGHT in this image but that would require something different of course. A whole different thought to include abrasion and vision in one Haiku seems difficult in few words but you did it well....Now must go brush the demanding big furry thing as we missed that routine yesterday. Alas, " Play before work" has its unpleasant payback.

MattPhox Loc: Rhode Island

How about:

Sandstorm passes
Monuments sculpted anew
Sun and earth rejoice

Uuglypher Loc: South Dakota (East River)

Matt, Chuck, and minniev all like the simplicity of #1...as do I, bit I must confess that after years of shifting attachments to different "schools" of haiku I find myself finding merit in occasional examples of each sort of haiku, so I've become far less dogmatic on the superiority of one school of haiku relative to the others. Some would say I'm withy-washy on the matter.
Whatever.

Thanks for your input,
Dave

Uuglypher Loc: South Dakota (East River)

Hi, Jenny; good comments. Your mention of the light took me back to that January late-afternoon when I was capturing the many exposures from which "the one" was chosen ...and reminded me that the majority of on-the-spot "haiku moment" poems that crossed my mind centered particularly on the light of the clouds and Jacob's Ladders and similies regarding stage set scrims providing separation of perceived depths....
..............
Jacob's ladders
Wander among near and far monuments
Depths
Terrains layers
Near-far
Increases perceptible depth of far MG ..
Simile and metaphor comparisons...of the light effects with scrims in a stage set.
Separates silhouettes
Accent silhouettes/monuments
Clouds direct/aim Jacob's ladders
.............
I was actually surprised to have trouble pulling a good haiku out of the "light effect" themes and concentrating on the concept of renewal of the landscape's surface by the "sandblasting" of its extensive surfaces. The former seemed it ought be more natural, but the latter came together more naturally in my mind.

Dave

Uuglypher Loc: South Dakota (East River)

Hi, Matt,
ThAt's a good example of focusing on a cause-and-effect. Many haiku contain a "kireji" or "cutting word" or punctuation to separate the two.
you haiku would typically use a dash at the end of the second line.
Good suggestion!
Thanks,
Dave