Nightski

Thoughts?
ISO 100
F/11
1/4 second exposure

the washroom

(Download)

Nightski

:shock: I'm so relieved that we have separate rooms for men and women!

Country's Mama Loc: Michigan

I think the blurry reflection is a distraction. I think it would be much better to remove it. Technically I think you did well with all those reflective surfaces. Not sure it is a wall hanger but maybe Kohler could use it in an ad. :)

lighthouse Loc: No Fixed Abode

nightski, I like this.
I like the mundaneness of it.
The simplicity.
The symmetry.
I don't think it needs the figure in the mirror. I would be tempted to remove her.
I think it has lot of potential to explore the tones, bringing the sink up lighter, to make it even more the focal point.
This will not be everyones cup of tea, but could definitely have a place in your portfolio area of similar images.

jim hill Loc: Springfield, IL

Hi Sandra,

I had not checked Critique yet today.

It's a good concept. I am crazy about the simplicity. There are a couple of things to try if you are inclined to do this one again.

1. The mirror figure could be higher in it's frame showing more of the body. Maybe 2/3 of the way up. Worth several different poses. You mentioned a personal connection so I figure that it has to do with the ghostly figure.

2. I would cause the the reflection from the mirror to be at least 2 zones lighter nearly matching the brightness of the sink but nor quite. You would probably need to increase contrast locally to bring the figure into balance.

3. The base, which is supported by the plumbing, could probably use a gentle tapering off in tonality to the tune of a zone - maybe a little less.

I think I would also make both knobs below the sink absolutely vertical.

4. The sink could use a little spiffing up in the way of a higher contrast but I wouldn't lighten it any - just increase the contrast.

(If it were something I were working on I would first darken the sink a little then increase the contrast up to a point of glowing. I might not like the result but it might be worth a try.)

All in all, it's a very worthwhile image and concept.

Jim

Edit: I think I have changed my mind about the knobs below the sink. Yep, come to think about it, they should remain as they are.

jim hill Loc: Springfield, IL

Sandra,

After looking at it again this morning it might stand as it is with just one simple crop. How about cropping out the top half of the mirror? The sink then seems to jump into prominence and the figure is not lost. I still feel it could use some contrast enhancement.

Jim

Nightski

She caught a glimpse of her gray hair
as she passed by the mirror,
When she first came her
the hair was brown,
The memories of the years in this place
raced through her mind,
drying herself after being caught in a rainstorm
washing dogs muddy paws,
ripping down the pages of a hustler magazine
that had been pasted all over the walls by jokesters,
plunging the toilets,
and sometimes cleaning them,
crawling under the stall doors
when the jokesters had locked them and crawled out,
photographing the critters that mistakenly
wandered in,
yes this place held many memories,
and she wondered when the day would come,
when she would not pass by this mirror any longer,
when she would be like the ghostly figure
in the mirror,
just passing by,
a gray haired old lady,
that no one would remember,
she wondered if the people she
encountered,
people she had in her memory,
would remember her,
would remember she was here,
all those years,
making a small mark upon this place.


Thank you Jim .. from the first critique you gave, I think you saw what I saw. I think I will retake it with my ultra wide lens to make the figure more prominent. I chose my 50mm that day and it simply didn't give me the room I needed. I wonder if some would be closer to getting this messaage if I make that improvement.

pfrancke Loc: cold Maine

beautifully written prose - This is what God and the Maid have in common, They see too much.

About your image, I have mixed feeling about the cropping of the mirror - it feels "axed". I like the idea of a reflection, but if you have a blurred reflection, a larger one would be better - one that becomes the "subject".

And it is important to note... If we guys started to do these images, we can promise greater "character" - which may not be a good thing.

Uuglypher Loc: South Dakota (East River)

The posted image and The text above could, I'm sure be retouched in a variety of ways...without affecting the combined effect of the impact of the combination as the most amazingly and beautifully introspective artistic effort I've seen posted on UHH.

Dave in SD

pfrancke Loc: cold Maine

:thumbup: :thumbup:

dansmith Loc: Southwest Alberta Canada

As usual, it takes me awhile to think before commenting especially this intriguing image.

Originally, I liked it exactly as taken.

Jim's suggestion of the crop would as he mentioned improve balance, say 8x10 aspect full wide from the bottom. Exposure would be fine tuned when this was printed, which it soundly deserves.

Then I dug your poem.

A little more emphasis on the image in the mirror, not much, just enough to illustrate the feeling... and how you do it? Your concept, your image,- your way of course.

Bushpilot Loc: Minnesota

I like a lot the way it is. The tones and detail are superb, and the reflection in the mirror give a feeling of malaise.

jim hill Loc: Springfield, IL

Sandra,

I think a combination of my thoughts late yesterday and the idea I had this morning would be best. I think you have sensed it too. Leave the tonalities and the mirror but extend the figure up into the mirror to about 2/3 to 3/4 of the way.

Again, I am struck by the utter simplicity. And the depth of the writing is well taken by this very old man. I knew when I first saw it what you were thinking. That's what a few years can do for one.

Now, all that said, it still stands on its own - except with a touch of increased contrast. Who knows, maybe tomorrow we will both change our minds. My first inclination was not well thought out. I was looking at pieces rather than the whole. In the vernacular, "You go Girl."

Jim

Nightski

Thank you, Pfrancke. I appreciate the lovely compliment on my prose. I think I will re-shoot with my ultra wide. Then I will have plenty of real estate to work with. I would love to see the "character" shot! ... or ... maybe not? :shock:

Nightski

Thank you, Dave. What a lovely thing to say.