Investment Advice for 2015 (okay...not really)
Jun 24, 2015 16:46:39 #
bookman
Loc: Southeast Michigan
Got these from my 84 year old sister so don't shoot the messenger! And if you're thinking about exacting revenge on her for these groaners, I'll tell you, she's old but she's armed. :thumbup:
Someone had too much time on their hands. Actually, some of these groaners are kinda cute.
Investment tips for 2015
With all the turmoil in the market today and the collapse of Lehman Bros and Acquisition of Merrill Lynch by Bank of America this might be some good advice. For any of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks. Watch for these consolidations later this year:
1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W R. Grace Co. will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.
2.) Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly, Warner, Cracker.
3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become: MMMGood.
4.) Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa.
5.) FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP.
6.) Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild.
7.) Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: PouponPants.
8.) Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become: Knott NOW.
And finally (and none too soon):
9.) Victoria's Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name: Titty Titty Bang Bang
Someone had too much time on their hands. Actually, some of these groaners are kinda cute.
Investment tips for 2015
With all the turmoil in the market today and the collapse of Lehman Bros and Acquisition of Merrill Lynch by Bank of America this might be some good advice. For any of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks. Watch for these consolidations later this year:
1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W R. Grace Co. will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.
2.) Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly, Warner, Cracker.
3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become: MMMGood.
4.) Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa.
5.) FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP.
6.) Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild.
7.) Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: PouponPants.
8.) Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become: Knott NOW.
And finally (and none too soon):
9.) Victoria's Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name: Titty Titty Bang Bang
Jun 24, 2015 17:06:46 #
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