2Dragons Loc: The Back of Beyond

Why at 70 yrs and over, you shouldn't be on face-book!

Read it all the way through! It's a good laugh! AND really quite true!!

When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, my 13 grand kids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating." You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship...
When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions, checking bathrooms, and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them with me.

Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do fart a lot."

P.S. I know some of you are not over 70. However, I sent it to you to allow you to forward it to those who are.

We senior citizens don't need anymore gadgets. The TV remote and the garage door remote are about all we can handle.

RS Loc: W Columbia, SC

Thanks; that is oh, so true!!
My cell phone is only for phone calls - no tweeting or whatever. Heck, I have enough trouble keeping up with this computer . . .

markngolf Loc: Bridgewater, NJ

Great writing. Thanks. I'm 78+, on FB, have lots of digital gadgets but really appreciated the humor.
Thanks,
Mark

lwiley Loc: Los Banos, CA, USA

Right on!!! SENILE SENIOR POWER!
The problem is the younger ones seem to forget who created all this junk! WE DID! And without computers!

DaveO Loc: Northeast CT

Just move once in a while so that nobody throws dirt on you. If they do,please let me know so I can give you my satellite tv/dvr remote. :cry:

Popeye Loc: LifIno

Count me in on that. Have a cell phone and the only people with the number are family. I don't need any devices for texting as I don't do that. If I have something to say, I'll call. The only other use for my cell phone is to call the house when I can't find the cordless. Isn't technology great?

2Dragons Loc: The Back of Beyond

I'd like to take the credit for writing that bit of humor, but someone else beat me to it, so I'm just passing it on to tickle more funny-bones.

markngolf Loc: Bridgewater, NJ

Thanks for clarifying. Does not detract from the humor.
Mark

wingclui44 Loc: CT USA

The World is advancing in light speed, it's hard to keep up with it but have to try not to fall behind too far! I'm almost 71 in three month. I try to keep up with the advancing technology in a moderate way. It means I learn and use what I interest to. I drive a late model car, I use GPS while driving (It's a must have driving in CT), I have cell phone but only a basic one without those fancy features, no phone-camera of course,! I have two digital camera system with 20 lenses without any problem using them, because of forty years of experience of photography. i started using computer after retired 10 years ago and keep up with it with some help from my kids! By the way, I'm on Face-book too, but I don't go there so often.
I don't have to know or have every new stuff coming out! Just enjoy the moment what I love! Cheer! :)

Ol' Frank Loc: Orlando,

All this "I-stuff" just left me in the dark. I do have a cell phone that is one step up from a dial phone and that is about it. My grand kids want me to get into the 21st century with tech stuff, but I am too tired and don't really care. Just leave me with my camera and a couple lens and let me put the images on my computer. I have Photoshop Elements and Lightroom but I have forgotten how to use them. Oh well, at 82 it really doesn't make any difference. I can still read UHH though!

superpijak Loc: Middle TN

:thumbup:

Mike D. Loc: Crowley County, CO.

I'm a "tweener", caught somewhere in between the irony and the technology but I totally get it.

Facebook is just one huge whine-fest that I don't have the time or patience for and while I'm not a technophobe, I find a lot of tech stuff annoying beyond belief. Like being on the edge of an epiphany and getting a text from someone about where the toilet paper is. Really, get off your backside and look! :cry:

I would like some of these younger people to pull their heads out and help me with a computerized sock machine that, so far, has about two months of my time into it, did not come with instructions that are even remotely useful (in spite of assurances that there WERE instructions in English).

I don't need Twitter but would love to be able to read Chinese. Maybe some portion of their alleged instruction book might make sense but you know it's bad when even the English instructions need to be carefully translated.

Thank you for the chuckle but it's time to fight another round with the $10K paperweights.

John_F Loc: Minneapolis, MN

It is sometimes said that each generations' bodies adapt to their life. There was a time when we didn't walk upright but over the centuries when the only fruit wad on the upper branches we learned to stand up. And so evolution goes. A few centuries from now will our most outstanding attribute will be giant ibdex fingers?

DaveO Loc: Northeast CT

Right now,for many,the outstanding attribute regarding a lot of these changes is a giant middle finger! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Mike D. Loc: Crowley County, CO.

Horn broken, watch for finger pretty much covers this one. :)