Why men are happier....
May 6, 2015 11:20:12 #
Men Are Just
> Happier People -- HA
> HA!
> What do you
> expect from such simple creatures?
> Your last name
> stays put.
> The garage is
> all yours.
> Wedding plans
> take care of themselves.
> Chocolate is
> just another snack...
> You can never
> be pregnant.
> You can wear a
> white T-shirt to a water park.
> You can wear NO
> shirt to a water park.
> Car mechanics
> tell you the truth.
> The world is
> your urinal.
> You never have
> to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is
> just too icky.
> You don't
> have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a
> bolt.
> Same work, more
> pay.
> Wrinkles add
> character.
> Wedding dress
> $5000. Tux rental-$100.
> People never
> stare at your chest when you're talking to
> them.
> New shoes don't cut,
> blister,
> Or mangle your
> feet.
> One mood all
> the time.
> Phone conversations are
> over
> In 30 seconds
> flat.
> You know stuff
> about tanks.
> A five-day vacation
> requires
> Only one
> suitcase.
> You can open
> all your own jars.
> If
> someone forgets to invite you,
> He or
> she can still be your friend.
> Your underwear
> is $8.95 for a three-pack.
> Three pairs of
> shoes are more than enough.
> Everything on your face
> stays
> Its original
> color.
> The same hairstyle lasts for
> years,
> Even
> decades.
> You only have
> to shave your face and neck.
> You can play
> with toys all your life.
> One
> wallet and
> one pair of shoes --
> One color for
> all seasons.
> You can wear shorts no
> matter
> How your legs
> look.
> You can
> 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
> You have freedom of choice
> Concerning
> growing a mustache.
> You can do
> Christmas shopping for 25 relatives
> On December 24
> in 25 minutes.
>
> ___________________________________
> Men Are Just
> Happier People
> NICKNAMES
> If Laura,
> Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other
> Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they
> will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba
> and Wildman.
>
> EATING
> OUT
> When
> the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in
> $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will
> have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want
> change back.
> When
> the girls get their bill, out come the pocket
> calculators...YEP!!!
>
> MONEY
> A man will
> pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
> A
> woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need
> but it's on sale.
>
> BATHROOMS
> A man has six
> items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving
> cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
> The average
> number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
> A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these
> items.
>
> ARGUMENTS
> A
> woman has the last word in any argument.
> Anything
> a man says after that is the beginning of a new
> argument.
>
> FUTURE
> A woman
> worries about the future until she gets a
> husband.
> A man never
> worries about the future until he gets a
> wife.
>
> MARRIAGE
> A woman marries
> a man expecting he will change, but he
> doesn't.
> A man marries a
> woman expecting that she won't change, but she
> does.
>
> DRESSING
> UP
> A woman will
> dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash,
> answer the phone, read a book, and get the
> mail.
> A man will
> dress up for weddings and funerals.
>
> NATURAL
> Men
> wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
> Women somehow
> deteriorate during the night.
>
> OFFSPRING
> Ah, children.
> A woman knows all about her children. She knows about
> dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite
> foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
> A man is
> vaguely aware of some short people living in the
> house.
>
>
> THOUGHT
> FOR THE DAY
> A
> married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use
> in two people remembering the same thing!
>
> SO, send this to
> the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it
> ....And to the men
> who will enjoy reading it.
>
> Happier People -- HA
> HA!
> What do you
> expect from such simple creatures?
> Your last name
> stays put.
> The garage is
> all yours.
> Wedding plans
> take care of themselves.
> Chocolate is
> just another snack...
> You can never
> be pregnant.
> You can wear a
> white T-shirt to a water park.
> You can wear NO
> shirt to a water park.
> Car mechanics
> tell you the truth.
> The world is
> your urinal.
> You never have
> to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is
> just too icky.
> You don't
> have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a
> bolt.
> Same work, more
> pay.
> Wrinkles add
> character.
> Wedding dress
> $5000. Tux rental-$100.
> People never
> stare at your chest when you're talking to
> them.
> New shoes don't cut,
> blister,
> Or mangle your
> feet.
> One mood all
> the time.
> Phone conversations are
> over
> In 30 seconds
> flat.
> You know stuff
> about tanks.
> A five-day vacation
> requires
> Only one
> suitcase.
> You can open
> all your own jars.
> If
> someone forgets to invite you,
> He or
> she can still be your friend.
> Your underwear
> is $8.95 for a three-pack.
> Three pairs of
> shoes are more than enough.
> Everything on your face
> stays
> Its original
> color.
> The same hairstyle lasts for
> years,
> Even
> decades.
> You only have
> to shave your face and neck.
> You can play
> with toys all your life.
> One
> wallet and
> one pair of shoes --
> One color for
> all seasons.
> You can wear shorts no
> matter
> How your legs
> look.
> You can
> 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
> You have freedom of choice
> Concerning
> growing a mustache.
> You can do
> Christmas shopping for 25 relatives
> On December 24
> in 25 minutes.
>
> ___________________________________
> Men Are Just
> Happier People
> NICKNAMES
> If Laura,
> Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other
> Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they
> will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba
> and Wildman.
>
> EATING
> OUT
> When
> the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in
> $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will
> have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want
> change back.
> When
> the girls get their bill, out come the pocket
> calculators...YEP!!!
>
> MONEY
> A man will
> pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
> A
> woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need
> but it's on sale.
>
> BATHROOMS
> A man has six
> items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving
> cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
> The average
> number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
> A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these
> items.
>
> ARGUMENTS
> A
> woman has the last word in any argument.
> Anything
> a man says after that is the beginning of a new
> argument.
>
> FUTURE
> A woman
> worries about the future until she gets a
> husband.
> A man never
> worries about the future until he gets a
> wife.
>
> MARRIAGE
> A woman marries
> a man expecting he will change, but he
> doesn't.
> A man marries a
> woman expecting that she won't change, but she
> does.
>
> DRESSING
> UP
> A woman will
> dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash,
> answer the phone, read a book, and get the
> mail.
> A man will
> dress up for weddings and funerals.
>
> NATURAL
> Men
> wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
> Women somehow
> deteriorate during the night.
>
> OFFSPRING
> Ah, children.
> A woman knows all about her children. She knows about
> dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite
> foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
> A man is
> vaguely aware of some short people living in the
> house.
>
>
> THOUGHT
> FOR THE DAY
> A
> married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use
> in two people remembering the same thing!
>
> SO, send this to
> the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it
> ....And to the men
> who will enjoy reading it.
>
May 6, 2015 11:41:20 #
May 6, 2015 11:42:53 #
May 6, 2015 13:15:27 #
May 6, 2015 14:36:32 #
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